I just broke the news to my dad. I recieved the revised score, but I didn't make it in. I missed admission by 0.7 which seems small, but I think its huge. He was outside, in a bank, and couldn't talk to him much because there was a lot of noise. I asked him to call me back, and will hopefully talk about returning to Canada.
But the news kinda ruined my day. Wait, it wasn't the news but what happened after I read the email. I guess I was reminded how pissed I am about certain things that were the way they were. Maybe even some things that were happening with me today. Ah, what the fuck! I should just stop beating around the bush and come to the point. I've never been scared about coming to the point and discussing any topic on my blog.
While biking, I said to myself,I had a fight with Pranav. But it wasn't really a fight. All just because I was too much of a chicken to tell him how I really felt and what I was really thinking. Its his nature to start blabbering and voicing his opinions and not caring about what the other person thinks. And because I care too much about what he thinks, I just listened. I should have just grown some balls and said to him,
"you never helped me out when I was working on this thing, all alone. And thus, you are not in a position to beat me up about my portfolio and my drawings. I did my best given the circumstances. I couldn't have told you to pick me over your own studies, but it would have been nice if you cared to ask and look and respond. People have different styles of working, personal preferences. So while you worked all alone, ignoring everyone around you, improving and getting all awesome in the process, I was stuck in a rut, lonely, longing for someone to work with and help me out.
In the end, things did kind of work out, between me and sujata, and she helped me a ton with my drawings and that was one of the happiest working time I can remember. I am so grateful and indebted to sujata, that I would sincerely listen to anything she has to say and humbly follow her each and every advice. Because she was there for me even in the tough times. Unlike you, pranav who just rubs my nose in the pile o shit that I'm already in."