Monday, December 29, 2008

After the Circa

Things I do, I do to try and get a strong reaction from people. Nobody has anything to say about my ice skating post, when I went to have sushi or the movie. Most of my dream or death posts. So I have failed with those topics.. I think I am starting to realize what gets certain people to react... Anyways, totally disregarding that for this post, here's something I've been meaning to write for a while now.

Let me explain what got me to impose this IM and social networking fast upon myself.

It was a week ago from now, I was in Toronto for the 'christmas' party at the Circa club on John street. It was 22nd of december. I was there with Sachin, Rajat and Franziska. (Franziska is the swiss chick.) After a beer, a shot of tequila and a shot of whiskey, plus a lot of dancing, we were all kinda tired and were just chilling out on the couch on the side. I was missing Sujata a lot and tried to give her a call. The phone rang and then I got the message that her number is busy. Disappointed and definitely not in a better mood, I went back inside.

After a little while more, we decided to jump that place, and head towards the go station or go someplace quiet where we could rest or maybe sleep till the morning when the train starts running again. So we were at a Tim Horton's. I quietly walked away and called up Sujata again. I didn't have much to say. was just missing her and wanted to hear her voice. But as the conversation progressed, I started speaking, in english, with the canadian accent that's second nature to me and just pops up without even me being aware of it. And suju snapped: "don't talk to me in that accent!" I tried to stick to hindi for the next few minutes and then my calling card ran out of balance.

That was straw one.

We had been sitting there so bored for so long that we guys were just going on and on about whatever topic we could find. And sometimes the conversations bordered on the retarded. I was enjoying meing stupid. Consciously stupid. I wasn't drunk. I was the one who had had the least to drink, and NOBODY was drunk. Then Sachin started to talk about his grandmother cursing him in punjabi. This conversation was straw two. (or maybe the part where Rajat went "Your surname is Gupta? Oh, so you're a Baniya!") I wasn't a part of it, because I barely remember what my grandmother used to say. But Sachin and Rajat went on.. joking about how there was no way I would have heard all that... I don't remember mch because I had retreated into my shell and was thinking...

I remembered meeting Sujata's grandparents, Abhinav's Grandparents, Hearing about Pranav's grandfather, and went through a flashback of my own interaction with my grandparents. I was really sad. But I didn't want to show or talk about any of it. I remembered things like when I was talking to Sujata and Mickey the other day. The quote 'Nobody feels sorry for you' came to mind. I think people just feel sory they have to listen to some stupid 'kid' whine. (Although talking to Sujata about my 'grudge' did seem to help me) And decided I don't want to talk to anybody at all.

And that was the last straw. I decided I won't be on IM for people to contact me. I wasn't going to recharge my India calling card. I planned on spending Christmas alone. (But Sachin called up and came to my place and we ended up making some food, watching kungfu panda together. It was great!)

The reaction that I got when I was not talking to Pranav for the first few days was that he would go around asking my other friends 'where is yash' but if I don't speak to any of those people either, what's he gonna do then? That's stupid, right? What can I say? I'm just a baby.

One of my dreams came true. What next?

How many here have seen 'South Park'? Well, to those who haven't I have two things to say:
  1. Go watch South Park!
  2. Come back and tell me how awesome you thing South Park is.
Well, in the mean time, for the premise of this blog post, I would just like to start by talking about Eric Cartman. The fat annoying character that nobody in his school likes. The kids are always mean to him but still, he thrives on it. So one day, the kids decide, they are not even going to acknowledge him. Just ignore him. (in the episode Death of Eric Cartman) And the audience, will either love him or hate him, or maybe even love to hate him, or hate to love him... but they cannot ignore him. There can't be an episode of South Park without Eric cartman.

I guess the first person to get where I am going with this would be Abhinav. I have a eric cartman in my life, who I can love or hate or love to hate, maybe even ignore him for one episode but the show will just not go on without him popping in here and there. And Abhinav, as the reader/viewer, might occasionaly (actually, always!) hate him. But What can I say, He gives me stuff to write about. If you want, I could make a feed that excludes all the posts related to him, but then you'd be missing out on SO MUCH!

Okay, getting to the topic.. I should have mentioned earlier that Sachin came over to my place on Christmas Day. And I happened to show him something I had noticed a while ago. Remember the part where I drink beer and get drunk in this blog post that I posted in August? It's so weird how I could have forseen that I will come to canada and drink and get drunk when I was back in India! So dreams really can tell the future? Sachin found it pretty amusing too. It was on his birthday party on the 19th October that I got drunk for the first time ever. And the 7th august blog post seems like I wrote it on that day at the very moment I started feeling tipsy.

Now, lets skip to the dream I had two nights ago. I didn't think much of it and didn't bother to blog it. Except now. The dream was, that I was back in Akola. You know how sometimes the place is undisclosed in the dream, this time, it was my house in my hometown back in India. And I was meeting and talking up with a lot of people. And from the corner of my eye, I notice Pranav sitting on the dining table with somebody. But I don't bother to go talk to him. A while later, I remember I'm sitting on the dining table, but Pranav isn't there. Pranav definitely wasn't the highlight of this dream.

You see, I remember when I was about to leave for Canada the first time, I was feeling really happy and confident. I remember myself suddenly being able to talk to my distant relatives, elders, strangers about...something. I hadn't been able to do that before. I was a very quiet little introvert. I figured it was just because I'm 'growing up' heh. But next time around I was in India, I didn't feel the same way. I had lost my confidence and I had retreated back into my shell. And thus I wasn't able to converse with people. I still feel the same way. So the fact that I was talking to people close to me, happily and comfortably means that things had turned around for me. I was not a sad, miserable little loser anymore.

But now, we're getting closer to why I started writing this blog. I was lying on my bed, thinking... this is the second time Pranav was in akola, Right? The first time was a dream a few months, maybe more than a year ago.. And the details in that dream suggested that he was coming to my house at the time of a wedding. At that time, there was no wedding scheduled so I didn't give it much thought. But someone in my family got engaged recently. My cousin Amol's wedding is in a few months. And there are lots of people at wedding.. who I was talking to in my latest dream. So if I consider the drinking in canada dream that came true a few months later.. maybe I could predict when the sum of both those pranav in akola dreams could come true.

Just because I am really looking forward to coming to India and attending my cousin's wedding. I hope I don't miss out on that because of my college.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Another Oakville Transit Adventure

Previously, on this blog... We had just left Fernanda's apartment, and gotten into the elevator. Doni started making weird faces... Upon inquiring, he told me that his stomach is feeling a little upset. He wanted to go back up and take a dump. Which would mean we'd end up missing our bus. I convinced him to hold it back and 'power through it'. And suddenly I realized that left my ipod touch on the dining table. So we go back up again.

I enter the apartment again, saying hi to everybody there, only 4 other friends of Fernanda's who drove here. Unfortunately they only had room for one more so they couldn't have given us a ride. Yeah, they've never even heard of the concept of sitting on somebody's lap to stuff more than 5 people in a car. That's something only us Indians do. Actually, no wait.. The other day, when we were returning from Renata's house after a party, Scott drove us to the college and we were kinda piled up on top of one another just like back in India. Anyways, coming back to the point, Doni didn't go to the bathroom and we got down again.

After walking a few hundred meters from the apartment, Doni slowed down again. I realized he wasn't doing so well, so I offered to go back. But he said it keeps going on and off.. so maybe he'll be fine if we just caught the bus back asap. As we're walking over the bridge, we spotted a bus going past us.. We went Fuck no! And I started flailing my hands to try and signal the driver to stop. Honestly, I wasn't hoping for a miracle, but a miracle is what we got. The bus driver slowed down and we started running to the other side of the road to catch the bus.

I was SO HAPPY! The bus driver greeted us nicely, we boarded the bus and saw that there was absolutely nobody else in the bus except for us. I told him what happened with us earlier that day. Then we told him where we needed to go, and he said he'll directly take us there. AWESOME! We got a cab ride for the price of a bus ticket.I was really amazed by what that bus driver did for us. I thanked him and wished him merry christmas as I got down in front of rabbas. 

We started walking and Doni wasn't feeling too great. So I offered him to come to my apartment to use the bathroom as it was closer. "And if you are going through the woods and feel like taking a dump, you can just do it like they used to do it in the old days. LOL." 

Saturday, December 27, 2008

I did end up going to that Christmas Party

I really enjoy using the 24 inch iMacs in the college. Somehow, the workflow is much faster on these. I go through my reading much faster on these, I get down to the stuff I really want to do, and rarely get distracted or interrupted. However, one thing I refrain from doing in the college is updating my blog. Because I don't want other people to eavesdrop on my writing.

But today, I can totally do that because I am the only one sitting in the huge learning commons room. Since the college is not officially open today, there aren't even any staff members or people who work at the ITSC. I came to the college with the intent of playing squash but found out the gymnasium is closed as well. Tough luck huh? Anyways, I guess it's a good thing and I can catch up on bringing you guys up to speed on what's been going on.
Sheridan college Learning commons

Firstly, I should mention that I did end up going to the party I mentioned in my previous blog post. After I wrote that, I sat down and watched some more American dad. four hours later, I was hungry and wasn't feeling like cooking. I thought Doni had already left but no, he called me up from the bus stop to ask me again if I really wanted to go. And I finally said yes. I left my apartment wearing the same sweater and light hoodie. Big mistake. Because the wind outside had really picked up and it started feeling much cooler than 4 hours earlier.

We had to change two busses. But the second bus did not show up in time because the driver had gotten sick and somebody else had to substitute for him. And while we were waiting at the go station, another tragedy struck! The wine bottle fell and broke as the polybag that doni was playing with ripped open from the bottom. Doni put forth his theory that tragedies strike in threes. And I remembered the sunday where nothing went right

Once on the bus, Doni realized that he wanted to remind me to bring my camera with me. Damn! Even I didn't remember that. But I suppose it was a good thing, in case it started to rain again. Downtown Oakville, we got off the bus and started walking to her apartment. None of us had been to her house before, so Doni used his iPhone to look up google maps and figure out the way. The wind was unbearable. I didn't even have my gloves with me. Stupid!

But once we got to her place, everything was amazing. The view out the window of her apartment was simply amazing. Another slap on the back of my head for not bringing the camera. The crackers with tuna salad on them were delicious. But I didn't particularly like the chicken. Spring rolls were good tho and there were lots of drinks. No alcohol in case you were wondering. I had some eggnog and lemonade and pepsi. Damn this is making me hungry! There was some chocolate with Brandy in it. I remember having something like that... a chocolate with liqueur in it at Ameya's place in pune back in 11th or 12th grade. I don't think I ever talked much about those years of my life with anybody...

We couldn't stay for long as we had to catch the last bus back. So Fernanda put the dessert in a box for us that we took home with us. But even the return trip wasn't without it's own adventure. Maybe I'll post that in a mini-blog after this. And that will be the happy ending of this Christmas party. yeah, if you want to read the happy ending, leave a comment or remind me if I forget.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Oakville Transit sucks and यश गुप्ता is a Grinch

Or maybe you'd call me a Scrooge for not having enough Christmas spirit. I do not really hate Christmas. Until a few hours ago, I was feeling really cheery but right now, the christmas spirit can go fuck itself. Let's rewind.

I was in my room quietly reading my emails, one of which was a feed of this article. He's a comedian who writes hilarious posts and they always make me laugh. Then I switched to watching the Christmas special of American Dad 'The Most Adequate Christmas Ever'. Then Doni messaged me to ask if I wanted to go shopping. I did need some food so I said "okay, I'll go".

I got ready and went outside, only wearing my light hoodie since it was only 5 degrees today. The pleasant weather got me perked up. However, the weather forecast said it was going to rain later. And that's exactly what happened. We walked to the Superstore from McDonalds in the rain. At the checkout, I said the last nicest thing I was going to say to anybody all day. 'Thanks and Merry christmas'.

Doni was picking up some wine for Fernanda's Party. (Fernanda's a Brazillian friend of Renata.) I hadn't heard about it since it was announced on facebook, and I had decided I won't be on IM or any social networking sites for next couple of days.. He asked me if I was going, and I said "I wasn't even invited." Probably because I haven't added Fernanda to my friends list on facebook. He said I could go with him but I couldn't care less. I realized I didn't want to do anything this Christmas. Nick had invited me to his place in Toronto too, his parents were gonna be there, and probably gonna have a nice christmas dinner, but I didn't want to go. Lets just say it's because of the rain.

I was listening to the song 'The beginning is the end is the beginning' by Smashing Pumpkins.

Pushing the cart through the rain water and melting snow I reached the bus stop. The three of us were waiting in there for bus number 29. It comes, passes us by, stope in front of the sign that says 29 and drops off two people and runs away just as we were walking towards it. How the hell can they do that?! I was furious. I called up the Oakville Transit number to leave a complaint against the bus driver. He could have waited for just 30 more seconds for us to get there from the shelter we were standing under to protect ourselves from the rain. I wasn't liking this at all! My jacket was totally wet, and I could feel it two layers under.

Finally, we caught the #20 bus. On the way, Doni started a conversation about the bus going round and round (He was watching the blue dot on his iphone in google maps) and I bluntly replied, "well, yeah. Can't you tell I'm pissed?" to which he said, "you look in a very nice mood."
"I'm going to assume that was sarcasm" I said and put my earphones back in my ears. Even after we got off, he asked if I was going to come, and I said I'm not sure about it. He said to let him know in about half an hour and I just texted him saying that I'm not going. I'll probably not be doing anything tomorrow either. And I'm fine with that. Because I'm angry. Angry at...well.. the weather, the bus driver, the guy at the Superstore(oh, didn't I mention he put my apples in with Doni's stuff?) I want my freaking APPLES!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

A story to tell for every bruise

There was this thing that Pranav and I made up when we were in alibag.. It was kinda based on the movie Hancock. It went as follows: By ourselves, we are safe from and impervious to any kind of physical harm or damage. But... whenever Pranav and I get together, we become susceptible and very vulnerable to all kinds of cuts, bruises, scratches or any other kind of injury.

There was this period of over 3 months since I had landed in Canada during which I was pretty much unharmed. I played squash, never seriously injured myself. I walked on icy sidewalks like crazy and never fell. But this week, it all changed... I guess after I talked to Pranav on the phone the other day..

First, I had, what I would call my worst squash accident yet. I was running towards the wall to hit the ball and my shoe which is always very slippery, got stuck on something, and instead of sliding to a stop, I was swung hard against the wall. And I wasn't even able to break the impact with my hands, so I hurt my cheek bone and my elbow. My glasses almost broke as they flung off my face. I was lucky to not get a black eye that day.

The next was last night when I was going over to Rajat's house. I had safely crossed 99% of the route from my apartment to his basement. But right before the stairs, there was a patch of slippery ice which I didn't see in the dark. I slipped and fell on the cold snow, my fall broken by my right hand which was holding a bag of chips and the rice I had cooked. I stood up and proceeded down the stairs to his room. And once I was inside, I realize that blood is dripping down my right hand. I wasn't wearing any gloves and my hand was so cold, and numb, I didn't feel a thing...

That's what made me write this entry. I look back at all the times I would go do some crazy thing because of Pranav and end up getting hurt. Same for him, I would egge him on to do something (which was his idea in the first place) resulting in.. what else? a disaster. But a pretty fun disaster at that. Because at the end of it, both of us would have another new story to tell.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Tonights Dream

Last nights dream has to be one of the top 5 really... well, 'interesting' dreams I've had. It begs a lot of questions. And I can't stop thinking how or why I would subconsciously think of such a thing.

I had talked to Pranav before I went to bed feeling like I had just jumped into the rabbit hole. I mean I was doing just fine not talking to him for almost 4 months. And my system was all clean. But i thought because I was clean, I could go ahead and take one more hit without getting addicted once again.

Sorry.. Deviated a little from the topic. In the dream, I was back in India. What looked like a really small and rural place. Could be Seoni or akola. So, apparently, I'm studying business or economics and I need tutoring for a math subject.. maybe economics. Damn.. Could I have been trying out for C.A.?

So anyways, I am out in the town looking for a tutor. Not going around asking people on the street, "will you tutor me?" haha. I seem to have someone's address in my head. And I navigate small 'gallis' (narrow roads) to reach a house. Made it seem like I had been here before. Hmm when was the last time someone got lost in a dream? Everyone always seems to get where they're going.

I ask the lady in the house about the tutor. She says no or denies. But suddenly the guy I've been looking for appears from behind, slowly coming into the brighter part of the room where I can see his face. He looks very familiar. He kinda looked like my 9th standard math tuition teacher in Akola, Khan sir.

He agreed to teach me. We had regular sessions, and I seemed to be keeping up. Which is just to say that I'm not a complete retard.

My dream was interrupted by the alarm going off. I have the debate in about 15 minutes so I run to the college constantly thinking about the dream so I don't forget it.

Geolocate this post

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I don't want to 'live to Die another day'

The other day, with Natansh, I had a really amazing one and a half hour of playing squash. And this is what I thought up then. Just didn't get around to posting it earlier.

I had won 4 of the 6 games that we played. I was on fire that day! Although the fact that Natansh's a fairly new player, does contribute to my victories. Anyways, the exercise was good and I was very tired. We walked back, and I thought to myself, I would happily die playing squash. And it stuck. Eventually, like I always do, I end up overthinking such things in my daydreaming mode. And thus openeth the Pandora's box.

The key here, is I would readily die, if I do so, 'happily'. I would happily die drawing. I would happily die eating. I would happily die cycling. I would happily die out in the cold. See, the concept of dying seems really appealing to me right now. Just for debate's sake, lets think if my grandfather's passing away had anything to do with it. I mean, I definitely wasn't super sad about him passing away or anything. So passing away isn't a big deal. I'm definitely no suicidal. Right after this, and before the picture here, I decided I couldn't die unhappy and sad.
Traffic trails HDR by you. by yashrg

But there's nothing I'm looking forward to the next day. Therefore if there Was no tomorrow for me, I wouldn't mind it at all. That's what I have always been like.. living in the moment. Thinking of immediate gains before long term benefits. Rather 'acting' with immediate as opposed to long term benefits in mind. And my next act would now be, to go to sleep. Couldn't care less for tomorrow.

More importantly, I don't want to live to see another day, another moment of misery. I don't know why or how, but I will often suddenly get really depressed. In class on a particular monday, I thought about my age for merely a second and I felt this deep remorse for my life thus far. And I am more afraid to see me in that state than to see myself dead. My life was happy, I didn't regret my decisions, and I believed something good is just around the corner. I just don't see that anymore.

BTW, This is not the first time I've discussed dying. Follow the tag 'death'...

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The Test

So many things I can't see. So many things I can't feel. So many things I refuse to acknowledge. Pretending the cold doesn't really affect me. Acting like I'm warm enough. Not realizing that there's a tear rolling down my cheek.

Huh? What is this cold feeling? Are my eyes wet? Hmm I guess it's really windy today. And I'm already in front of the college building? How long have I been walking? When did I leave my home behind?

Now the doors in front invite me to the warmth inside. Even though I'd much rather be back home, I know I must give this test. With heavier feet I tread to my destination which I do not want anymore.

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Sunday, December 07, 2008

Ice Skating Part 1

On December 5th, while I was chatting with Abhinav, he said, "your tweets always do give an impression of you having a lot more fun there" And I started thinking about it. Its just because there are a lot more people following me on twitter, and because its a more active place, that I refrain from posting my dark sad little feelings. This blog however, is more like my secluded, lonely world. It's quiet in here, can you hear the echo?

But well, yesterday, I decided this could change. So here is an entry about the awesome fun I had in Toronto on Saturday.

Natansh had asked me to go to Toronto with him as he wanted to do some shopping. Earlier I wasn't so gung-ho about it. I was worried about the cold weather in Toronto. But I talked to Donnie about maybe catching a movie in Toronto and I decided that I'll go anyways. So I showered, and just as I was putting on my clothes, I got a call from Donnie saying that he was already on the bus and that I had missed it. I hurried and ran out the apartment without drying or combing my hair. I realized that the same bus passes by from behind my apartment after it leaves sheridan college. So I called up Natansh and told him to be there ASAP. Fortunately, this time, he made it.

We met up with Donnie on the bus and went to Toronto together. On the Go train, Natansh was constantly dozing off to sleep. I told Donnie we could quietly move from those seats to the seats on the top floor. And when Natansh wakes up, he'll be surprised to find us gone. As soon as I was walking away, Donnie accidentally woke him up.. or maybe Natansh just woke up by himself. But the whole prank was ruined. It still made for a good laugh. In Toronto, Donnie left for his friend's place to pick up his letter. We decided to walk through the underground PATH. I believe this was my 4th time going through there, and still I was as lost as could be! To make matters worse, a part of it was closed for renovation/repairs of an escalator. In the end, we ended up walking to the Eaton center in the cold.

I took some photos along the way using Natansh's phone. I transferred them to my phone, and tweeted them when I got a wifi connection at the Apple store. The mall was really crowded. Which is not entirely unexpected or surprising thanks to it being a weekend and christmas just 2 weeks away. All that I had seen in hollywood movies about the Christmas shopping season, was proved right. People had gone crazy buying stuff. How could the economy be in a slump with all this money exchanging hands?!

Shopping with Natansh was fun. specially since I could totally egg him on to buy stuff, and he would do it. He wasn't worried about money at all. At Aeropostale, there was this white t-shirt that I would have liked to buy for myself. But Natansh liked it too, and he picked it for himself so I can't buy that t-shirt for myself too. Because then if we both end up wearing the same t-shirt to college on the same day.. we'll be the butt of all kinds of jokes. And with his purchase, he got a teddy bear free. I should have snapped a picture of that too.. but I was looking out for Donnie. He came to Eaton center to meet up with us.

We went to the Apple store, I wanted to check if they had the in-ear headphones in stock. But they weren't available in store yet so I was a little disappointed. Natansh has been thinking of buying an Apple notebook and he was wondering which model he should go for. So I showed him the difference between the MacBook and MacBook Pro models. Donnie wanted to go to Futureshop too, so we headed out that way.

On the street, there was a performer who was dressed as a cowboy and had face paint applied to make him look like a dummy. He stood absolutely still in -17 degree temperature, only moving suddenly at random intervals. There was a Huge crowd gathered there. Firstly, he had me fooled.. I was wondering why are there so many people watching a cowboy mannequin. But as I looked on, he suddenly moved and that's when it hit me. I took a picture of him with Natansh's phone camera. look at the length of this post. I don't think anyone will even read this.. if someone does, and wants to read the rest of my really fun weekend in Toronto, ask me. Till then..

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Me playing with vicky?

I have a test tomorrow in philosophy class. I haven't even reviewed any of my notes yet. But I am already too tired and sleepy to bother.I've put on some music on my laptop and just want to update my blog.

This morning, I dreamt that I was back in Akola.. I think. Because I don't really remember any surroundings or environment, objects I interacted with. Only thing that stood out and that I remember is that Vicky and Arjun my nephews were with me. I was playing with them. I don't know what this is supposed to signify or indicate. I didn't even have time to ponder over it as I had to get ready to go to the college. Manish needed his newsprint pad. I got showered, and had a glass of chocolate milk and a banana. Put a muffin in a box and took it to college.

Printmaking class was really interesting and also equally tiring today. I was on my feet for about 4 hours! But I got some really good prints I am really happy with. I think I will put them up soon. Also, the process this class was really interesting since we dealt with color. I wish I had my camera to take pictures of all the activity going on around. It was really a sight to see.

It's harsh's birthday on 4th december, so I wished him at about 8:30 IST. Aso talked to Suraj for a bit. He told me some really funny incident that happened with Harsh. I don't know if I'm at a liberty to disclose that so I guess I will just end this post for now. I will get some shut eye. In the next post, I might add more about what happened today.

Pranav quits smoking

In my blog post, Cycle Dream, I wondered why I had stopped dreaming about friends. It was just a musing, not necessarily a wish for more. But it did remind me of the dream I had after Sachin's birthday party. We got back to Sachin's house slightly less drunk than we were at the party. It was already past 3 am on 19th October I believe. And I slept on the couch if I remember correctly. And I know some of you are going to be curious about this, so lets just get it out of the way first.. no, dreams don't feel any different when you are drunk. LOL

So, first one, was with me and sujata, at a kind of outdoor residential location, which now, I am thinking could have been her farmhouse in the future. LOL. There was some kind of shooting going on in there.. not guns, killing, shooting. but film, cameras, movie, shooting. I was outside, and I could see the crew and everyone through a large opening that could have been a garage door. Anyways, don't want to get into too much detail here, as I have very vague memory of a already very vague dream. Just the way it made me feel, that I was outdoors, in the greenery, with someone was a pleasant thing to remember.

Usha Light House by you.Photo by yashrg
(Yes, the house is above the store.)
The second one was a little more grey. It isn't even about friends, but about my nanaji and the family that lives in Seoni. I dreamt that their house, pictured here, had been remodeled and renovated to something much bigger and more lavish and rich! But the sad part was, Nanaji and Naniji were moved from their room on the 1st floor to a higher floor. Made me really sad. Because in the old age, people shouldn't be made to do a lot of physical work. And they should be closer to the outside world. I wish I could have some say in it. Put my foot down for my grandparents... Anyways. Lets go to the last dream. The one that's the most brief and specific...

I was walking down the street. And I meet Pranav. And by the looks of it, we're meetin after a really long time. Sure we're both excited. But still, not the same spark. But then Pranav tells me some good news. He says "I've finally quit smoking!" I couldn't be happier for him! I really think it's an achievement. And I think we both move on. Or maybe I woke up at the point.

Later that day, I briefly talked to Pranav. This is the chat transcript from that day.. I guess I could have just left it out and had you guess what happened.. it would have been a nice surprise..

pranav: hey
me: hey
pranav: ka haal chaal babua
me: wtf? staying with biharis a lot lately?
pranav: abe teri nahi be ab to teri yaad main jitni ho sake nayi language sikh raha hu, kya pata agli baar yash se baat ho to kis bhasha main bole
me: LOL. you high?
pranav: oye kya bolraha hai
me: why are you not making any sense?
wait.. you never made any sense to me
so this is not ner
pranav: he bhagwan kya hua, itne din mujhse baat nahi ki to main kya bol raha hu tujhe samajh nahi aa raha kya
dhat teri ki
aree tu kaha hai bhai
acha suju se baat kar raha hai kya
me: yes
pranav: wt
me: stop making me switch windows
pranav: ok

Tuesday, December 02, 2008


Saturday, I had my friend Bilal send me a photo that I clicked in the college. This the painting I blogged about here, and is now hung in the hallway of Sheridan college. When I go to painting class next week, I will make it a point to ask why he decided to put up my painting when there were clearly a lot of other paintings, much superior in the quality of the rendering. Anyways, the photo, I then attached to an email and sent it to the person who inspired it, Pranav.

On Sunday, at 1:56 pm, Pranav sends a reply. Hmm.. that was really prompt. Pardon the caps, BUT JUST WHEN I DON'T EXPECT HIM TO READ AND RESPOND, HE DOES SO, IN RECORD TIME! I didn't even bother reading through it. Ah.. who am I kidding.. I did glance over it once. And like everything else he says, I don't bother to try to make sense of it. All I want is for him to hate me. And I am not going to bother responding to him. My life is awesome without him. Such that now I am looking for ways to never go back to India. Even if I did, I'd never meet him.

There. My rant is over. This was typed at 12:16 am on technically, 3rd of december. I am not going to publish it right away.. I'm going to 'put a pin in it' and let it hang. (You'll get that reference if you have seen Bolt)

Hmm.. coming back to this post, I should first tell you that I did ask the painting teacher about the painting. And he said he thought that painting fit the criteria of the assignment really well. And he had given the people who were putting up the display a couple different paintings and mine is the one that finally got put up. The other day, I was in the kitchen looking outside in the balcony, at my old suitcase that I painted and thought to myself.. hmm.. a rubik's cube is somehow a recurring theme in my artwork.

Also, more words for Pranav. I have now read his stupid email 3 times and have interpreted it in my own way and have a response I'd like to personally drop at him some day. It goes something like this.."Pranav, wake up and realize that I am not what your life is. I am a lost soul, a damaged good, a worthless piece of shit. Your real life is something great. How many times have I told you yo're right? well, You were right... about me. Think back to that conversation we had. And then well... stop saying things like you just said in that email."

Monday, December 01, 2008

Anoher weekend post

Just one blog post ago, I had blogged about my weekend. And its already time for my second weekend post. Just goes to remind me how infrequently I blog these days. But with the addition of a new follower, Archana, I hope I get more motivation to blog regularly.

Well, this weekend, I planned to go watch the movie, Bolt. It stars John Travolta, Mylie Cyrus, Susie Esman and Mark Walton. If you haven't already seen the trailer, (Like certain friends from India who haven't even heard about the movie before..) go check them out. My favorite characters from the movie, are Bolt, (obviously) and Rhino. The part where Bolt is a little pup is one of my favorite parts of the movie.

But wait, I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. How I actually got around to watch the movie is also a story in itself. Donnie and I had talked about the idea of going to watch the movie on Saturday. But when I called him up on Saturday, by the time we made up our mind and the plan was laid out, it was already too late. you see, we also wanted to have sushi but if we had food first, then movie, we'd not get a bus back. Okaville Transit stops running early on the weekends. So we decided to do it sunday afternoon.

I was feeling pretty tired that day, so I fell asleep after talking to Donnie. I woke up at about 11 pm. I sent a text message to Natansh telling him that we're going to go watch the movie. He said he'll come. I spent next few hours tidying things around the house, killing time with my ipod touch. And at 2:30 am, went back to bed. Sunday, I woke up early enough. Internet was still not working. So I decided to shower, and make myself something to eat. Nicole's mom was in the house, cleaning up the kitchen. I kept my cutting an apple act as mess-less as I could. Even then, the bitch had to come yell at me 'clean up your apple after you're done, yash' And as usual, I just ignored her. I say all these things about her, but its actually kinda nice having her as a roommate for certain reasons.

I called up Sumit and then sujata as I was having my banana, apple in strawberry yoghurt. Good thing I had something to eat at home because we ended up missing our bus and had to wait for nother hour for the next bus. And I would have gotten really hungry by the time we got to the sushi restaurant. Sushi was delicious as always. We got to try out some new dishes. Like Salmon rose. It looked so beautiful. Orange salmon wrapped around the filling in the shape of a rose bud. I wish I could have snapped a picture. And this time, I made sure we tipped so that they don't spit in our food the next time we go.

We got to the theater just in time to comfortably buy our theater-snacks and find ourselves good seats. While the theater showed promos of movies I'd already seen trailers for on the site, I played with my ipod touch. There's this really cool game called tangram pro which involves placing/arranging triangular shapes to form a particular pattern shown on your screen. I'm sure you've played that kind of puzzles when you were little. Indeed I put it away as soon as the movie started. Just like a good citizen must. :P

After the movie, we walked back to the bus stop, in freezing rain. We could hear little ice droplets hitting the ground, the cars in the parking lot, etc. and making a really unusual and loud noise. It felt like -9 outside and to make matters worse, I wasn't wearing my gloves. And since we had gotten wet, the Strong wind made it much, much worse. Waiting for the bus was an ordeal in itself. But I was super glad to be back home again!