Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Sometimes, even the greatest need help.

This morning, Lalu was feeling really hungry, so he decided to make scrambled eggs for himself. The packet of bread wasn't closed off properly, so some of the slices got a little dry. He swallowed the breakfast with lots of water. His hunger seemed satisfied, and he was ready to go on his way.

Upon reaching deccan, he longed for a bite of the delicious dabeli from the corner 'thela'(stall on the roadside). But his stomach wasn't feeling very good. It felt like it was gonna make him throw up anytime now. So he decided to go take care of the business he was actually here for. Getting the information he needed didn't take too long. And when the craving still didn't go away, he decided to go for the dabeli. It was dabelicious.

His stomach wasn't getting any better. He wondered if it was the heat. At CCD he had a cafe frappe while discussing his plans with his friend. Lalu was really uneasy, but tried to keep his composure. He asked for some water, hoping it would help stop his sickness..."Does my face look all green?"

They left CCD, they had some work to do. On the way, they stopped at a restaurant to get some refreshments. Lalu didn't want to take any risks so he didn't have anything. However, he was thirsty just a short while later. But they were almost done, and he could head home now. Cool, comfortable, home.

After he was feeling less likely to barf, he had an apple to quench his hunger. But it was not a substitute for proper meals. And he got extremely hungry around 8 pm. Just then, dad and uncle came home, ready to take Lalu with them for dinner. When he explained his situation to his uncle, he gave him half a 'perinom' a med that's supposed to counteract nausea. And an antacid for good precautionary measures.

Lalu did take pride in the fact that he had been here for a week, and hadn't gotten seriously sick. So turning to allopathy was not something he would be happy about. But once the meds did their miracle, He was able to eat a hearty dinner. And all happy and proud, he returned home, feeling triumphant. He had finally conquered food; or his stomach, whichever you prefer.

Monday, April 28, 2008

This is getting SO long!!

If the last post seemed like I had too much to say and not enough time to say it, get ready for more, of that. I met so many people in one day yesterday, did so many things, I could just go over the last 36 hours and live my life happily for a week.... I don't think I made that clear enough.. I can't think of any other way to explain it, but this-

In the movie bluffmaster, when abhishek bacchan is told he's going to die, boman irani, the doctor says to him, "how many good/happy moments or days do you remember from your entire lifetime? lets say 5? In the next 30 days, that you have to live, you can relive your life 6 times!"

That's food for thought for today. What about food for my stomach? I am really hungry. Haven't had breakfast today. I did made breakfast yesterday, for golu bhaiya and me. I made half fried and poached egg. I burnt my finger in the process. LOL. Then Golu bhaiya dropped me off at tina's hostel from where I picked up her activa. All this time, pranav kept calling me, wanting to know where I was. I was just as impatient. I saw the long pune roads and raced the activa to yashwant rao chauhan natya griha. I saw his bike in the parking lot, he was already here.

I went upstairs, and I noticed suju first. I gave a second glance to the figure in white and realized that was pranav.. An unshaven, bespectacled, pranav in jeans and t shirt. Fuck! There was sumit, looking a little plumper than usual. I told him he put on some weight and he said "I thought you were going to say the opposite." wow! I wonder what he was like before 'loosing' weight. Suju's skin was actually as clear as I had seen in some recent photos. I guess the workout and diet is paying off in many more ways.

Pranjali arrived soon after, but even after calling up mohini a whole bunch of times, we only finally met up at city pride. Shruti was there too. I didn't intend to eat anything there, but I ended up doing it anyways because I was really hungry. We took lots of pictures, messed around with the camera, sketched a little... damn I didn't date those.. I must do that now. The plan for the big sleepover kept tumbling around... first it was sumit, then it was not sumit, it was pranjali. This kind of thing is expected to happen when you have a large group, so its not a problem. We decided we'll do it the next night.

After the girls left, I looked around at crosswords, asked for a few books, and we were told we'd find one of them at the JM road crossword. We rode all the way, but we didn't find 'failing forward' there either. Apparently, its out of publishing... sad! I noticed jonathan livingston seagull and bought it for pranav. I used dad's debit card for the first time, it worked fine. I even signed for him. LOL I hope I don't get into trouble for that. Now we were off to Pranav's place.

We spent quite some time there. He showed me his animation, drawings etc. Even though I was really happy for him, I felt miserable inside. I felt like a bum. I should have been in animation school by now, learning what I really want to do. But I failed. I don't think I am working towards my goal hard enough. And pranav has already got a good foothold in the field. He knows his stuff, and even though he says he lost practice, he can quickly relearn it.

I decided to cancel the cad B plan with suju and the rest of the gang, as I was feeling rather weak. We went straight to my place and I finally had 'ghar ka khana' and I felt much better. Abhinav was on his way, and was supposed to call us when he gets here, but both our phones had no coverage in the kitchen. When I realized that, we panicked for a bit, thinking abhinav must be worried. He wasn't here yet tho. So we went upstairs. He called pranav a few minutes later, and I went to pick him up.

The sleepover had officially begun. We tried getting stupid windows xp in vmware fusion to run the emulator, but nothing. Even if we had found a mac emulator for dreamcast, the game controllers weren't being recognized on the mac, apparently. So we decided to start watching paprika. Half way through the movie, we decided to go get some food. I felt like shiv sagar, but it was really crowded, so we went to smokin joes instead. A nice pizza, mountain dew, and company of my friends; AWESOME!

We came back, finished paprika, then I showed them some artwork from my classmates in visual and creative arts. Pranav was blown away for sure. Then we watched 'The man who planted trees' and both of them absolutely loved it. It was the first time I watched the entire thing on my laptop, and even I was blown away. Just that I found it hard to believe that forests would actually grow in a barren land. You gotta consider all the elements in the surroundings. I was watching planet earth a few days ago, and they explain the occurrence of forests and deserts and mountains with the natural phenomenons such as weather, erosion, chemical reaction, tectonic movements... So only if there is a water body nearby from which water vapor rises, proper terrain to guide the rain winds that way, if only there is the right temperature to make the rains fall, will the terrain actually flourish. So, as I thought, the story, is not true.

We didn't feel like starting another movie that late, so we just talked for a bit and abhinav decided he'll try and get some sleep, while me and pranav went up to the terrace to try and photograph the night sky. There, we talked for the time the camera was taking the long exposure and doing the noise reduction. Pranav knows so much about animation, I feel I should be the one asking him questions instead of me telling him stuff he probably already knows. I might be insulting his intelligence or knowledge. He said he was seriously considering coming to canada, and I feel he absolutely deserves it. I've told him this before, 'you really underrate yourself.'

When we came back down, abhinav woke up because of our noise, maybe also the mosquitoes. So we were just killing mosquitoes for a bit, then we got tired of this, and I started drawing. Pranav looked at my stuff, and he gave me whole bunch of helpful tips and hints. He asked me to draw particular things so that he could see what my visualization was like, etc. Then he told me about other artists, and that I should be observing this and trying to do what they do. I wished I had my life drawings here to show him. He could tell me a whole bunch of different things about those too! This is what I have been missing for so long.  I would love to get together with him and learn some tricks of the trade.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

I'm in india

I spoke to Arjun bhaiya today. He sounded pretty enthusiastic. He said he wanted to see my stuff, we'd go out with his friends, get a coffee, hang out, have fun. I won't psychoanalyze this too much, I'll just admit, I'm more excited about it than he is. He's coming there in two days or so and I just got a whole new purpose to go to pune.

I'm hopefully leaving at 9 pm today. I can't be sure unless I get the bus ticket in my hands. We(divya, tina, purva) are going to watch 'tashan' in uday theatre in an hour. I am prepared for it to be a really shitty movie, but I'm just going there to hang with my cousins just like we did way back when. I remember the girls wanted to watch charlie's angels and I had to take them.

Then tonight, we are going to have dinner at sonu didi's. I will finally see sanika after 15 months. 'She talks a lot', is what I keep hearing. I will have my camera and take many pictures of my little niece. I wanted to meet sonu didi since the day I got here. But things just didn't work out. Rather, I didn't make things work out.

There are a lot of things I should have blogged about the day I got here, but better late than never. Divya's ipod is not going to be fully utilized until I get her a dock/charger. She only had a laptop there temporarily, so now she doesn't have a way to charge her ipod in her hostel. Plus, she likes to listen to her music on speakers instead of earphones, whenever she can. Even I find my laptop speakers inadequate for listening to music here. I'm planning to go buy some 'real' speakers too(Finally!!!).

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I was dreaming again

I had a really weird night yesterday after I went to bed at I don't know... 4 am? I kind of knew I couldn't go to bed because I had slept for almost 10 hours already. But other times when this happened, I would just stay wide awake. Last night, however, I went into this state of half drowsiness... I was dreaming, but my mind would know that its a dream, and when I tried to snap out of it, and wake up, I couldn't. I was so restless! It was like I was sick or ill.. I would have similar phases during sleep when I have a fever.

There were three things that happened. I only remember two of them now. One was that I was talking to pranav face to face. That was probably because I tried calling Pranav before I went to bed. Also, I was thinking, I'd tell him, "you, mister, have to make up for all the times we didn't communicate." And that would involve spending all day long, with me, going to movies and talking. Its weird.. now that I think back, I can't imagine what we could have probably talked about for so long! hehe... There's also a side of me who thinks this is really bad. I don't want it to happen to me what happened to Sujata.

Moving on, there was the second thing, which I remembered when I was in the kitchen looking in the fridge. I was in Nagpur eating roti made by mamiji. I could almost smell the rotis and feel the warmth. LOL. Though they weren't as perfect as mom makes, they were home made. And I do not mean that mamiji makes bad rotis, she makes good rotis.... maybe there's an explanation.... maybe they have hired some maid to do the cooking and I don't know about it that's why I feel they were made by her... LOL..

Oh, I just remembered how I ended up in nagpur. LOL. I was thinking(maybe a little too much) about my friends, and that I might not fit in with their changed lifestyle and schedule anymore. Maybe they won't even like me... but my cousins would still be my cousins. I would go to nagpur and meet divya, harsh, nikita... and then, I would obviously have to go to mamaji's house..

I guess I better start packing then

I handed in my portfolio for the appeal today. First I ran to the international center office, left my portfolio there. But at D100, Denisse told me I had to bring it to her. So I went back to the B wing, picked up the portfolio and appeal letter from the international center and dropped it off with Denisse. I talked about whether I needed to be there for the appeal. She said the students don't really go into the meeting, where they are looking at the portfolio, 'your letter represents you'. So its decided, I don't have to stay here.

Today was possibly the last 'Monday Mall lunch' we're gonna have together. Well, technically, mine was the last monday because I didn't eat anything because of the sore on my tongue. But I'm glad I went because now there are no regrets. Jeremy dropped me off at the school again after the mall, and I picked up my assignment. If I tell you what mark I got before I tell the story, it would be very anticlimactic. So flashback to this morning!

The crit went pretty well. I started by talking about the stonehenge and the pyramids, ancient structures that to this day, amaze people. And they are just simple geometric shapes. I then talked about the Jantar Mantar. An equinoctial dial in Delhi. I had been there when I was younger and I only thought it was a giant sundial. I didn't realize that its so complex that it can tell the place of the sun in relation to earth and even other heavenly bodies. It is even believed that the stonehenge was a secular calendar. Then I introduced my project and talked about it. When the teacher asked during the critique, what mark I'd give myself, I said, ".... 'B'?" And others were prompting 'B plus!'. I explained, "This was my most disappointing work." Pointed out all the flaws and the things I couldn't achieve, like the mirrory shiny surface. Kirsten said the scale of the original should be gargantuan. 'That would be really breath taking.

Yeah, I really got involved in that didn't I? I got an A which at around 10 pm got bumped up to an A+ because she saw my photoshopped image in which I had enlarged the size of my structure. I'm really happy. Today was just such a perfect day. It was cold in the early morning but it got warmer. After I got back home, I called up Pranav. He said he was online. So I said I'll turn on my computer and start skype. I was still on the phone with him while I was doing that.. not realizing that it was pretty late in the night in India at the time. Then something happened and he couldn't hear my voice over the phone anymore. He said we'll talk on skype so I hung up. But...he never showed up.

So I went to bed, and slept till about 2 am. Now I'm not sleepy at all. So I started reading Sujata's blog. And after reading a couple posts, I realize, I don't want to go back there. Its hard to explain what I read that she wrote, and what I read between the lines. Its like the place brought upon a curse or something upon the college and everyone therein. Haha.. I'm going overboard now, but humor me, ok? I'm singing "chod aaye hum... woh galiya..." for the lack of any other cheesy song. I'm saying I am through with that place, and I can't go back. I can't go back because a lot has changed. And I don't like change...I'm sure I've said that before too.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Just when I was about to pack my bags

I was thinking I should start putting my books away in the suitcase. I was also on British airways website today, trying to figure out the excess baggage allowance. Then I called up their 1-800 number to ask about carrying canvases. Well, unfortunately, they don't have any provisions for carrying canvases. They will allow bikes and other sporting goods for free, but not one canvas. Sucks! I'm gonna have to think what I'll do about my self portrait now.

But, then aniruddh bhaiya came online, and he tells me, how about staying back for another month and see how your appeal goes.
He said, "the break is 4 months long, stay back for ONE month."
I told him "I already have a non refundable ticket and I haven't payed the landlord to live past 20th. And my parents say I'll be living in India now.. so its not a 4 month break!"
"do u wanna live there and study there?"
"Yes, I want to study here."
"then nothing else matters"
"mom is already telling me to bring back all my stuff, sell the stuff i can't bring back, close my bank account..."
"WHAT? WHY? Did she give an explanation?"

...They don't need more explanation than 'I did not get into animation' so there's no point talking about that part of the conversation. However, he said I could stay at anuj's place for a month, or he could find places to put me up for a month..

So, moral of the story, I did not get to packing... but its not certain that I'm staying either.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Get over it already!

Its supposed to sound Confident and professional. Your's sounds pathetic!

That's what Aniruddh bhaiya said about my appeal letter. So I have to do it again, and sit with him editing it. He's coming back online in the morning. But I am too tired to be awake right now and do it. So I will set an alarm and wake up early tomorrow morning.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

another "I didn't get into animation" post...BOO FREAKIN HOO!

Yesterday, me, Sujata, and Pranav initiated a fun, friendly three way conference on skype. We were having so much fun, that I decided to record the chat. We talked about the email that Myke sent me, and I was making fun of pranav because his microphone wasn't working. So he had to type or be quiet while both of us were talking away. And at a point he got pissed, sent me message 'teri to' and 'tujhe bhi dekh lunga' to sujata.

And I guess if one has enough motivation, he can do anything. Because pranav finally got his mic working. He said he had plugged it in the wrong place. I didn't expect him to do such a stupid thing. LOL. Anyways, then we really got talking! It was so much fun. I found out even Mohini was there. She didn't talk much tho. I guess she was busy with something. I continued to tell them about my plans.

I had talked to dad and he said he was the only one coming to pick me up in mumbai. Well, that was a bummer. I remember when Aniruddh bhaiya came to India, everyone was super excited to meet him and wanted to go to the airport to receive him. And I was expecting at least my mom and sister to be there to welcome me. That's when pranav said something that I still can't get out of my head. The entire recording is here. I don't want to quote him on this.

Back when I was working on my portfolio, I would always think about what its gonna be like if I go to India having not gotten into animation? My analogy, I would be like a soldier returning to the country after loosing a battle. The shame and humiliation that I didn't die for my country, while others did. And I let those martyrs down. I couldn't win it for them. But I am 'winning' admission into the college, and the sacrifice is the good times I could have had with my best friends, not my parents... my parents always believed I was good for nothing. The person who mattered the most was pranav. Is there any wonder why he's the last of all the people to know I didn't get in?

I thought I couldn't possibly face him if I return to India as a reject. He was the one who (explicitly) had high hopes of me. And for all the times he's stood up for me, this is what I am going to give in return? He would be very disappointed in me, and I wondered what turn our friendship would take.
"I could have spent the same time being there to support him through the hard times he had to go through. He wouldn't be alone so much, he'd have someone to go to the movies with..." I thought.

But I cannot turn back time. I cannot undo anything. And I cannot erase what is there now. This also applies to pranav. I cannot stop thinking about what he said and its not going to be easy living with that. I feel the life fleeting from within me.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Move along people, nothing to see here.

hello myke,

Thanks so much for your letter. It really made my day. you know its hard, but knowing that people care about me, makes me not want to kill myself anymore...I'm justjoking. -see? I'm in a much better mood already.

That is what I was going to start my reply to myke with. But I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. If he doesn't share the same sense of humor, he'll think I was being a smartass and not taking his sincere letter seriously. But I was really impressed by his letter.

When I found out that my portfolio didn't make the cut off, I was devastated. I felt everyone's gonna look at me like I'm a big failure. But that was just me. After some motivational reading from 'Failing forward', I felt much better. Last wednesday I met myke at the info session, and I told him I didn't make it. I didn't feel anything. After a day of sulking because my parents(mom) didn't take it too well, I was again, back to normal. But, I didn't contact gerard or myke about it. I felt I was on my own and I had to clean up my own mess. Aniruddh bhaiya told me to contact anuj and so I did.

Then out of the blue, I got gerard's email last night. He said he found out from myke that I didn't get in, he was really sorry, and offered to help if I needed him. I was really surprised. In a happy way. Someone's reaching out to me. Someone who's not a friend, or family, but only a professional acquaintance. (I am not sure that sounds right when talking about a teacher...) Today, I got a really heart warming email from myke. He said he enjoyed working with me, and liked my character designs and the energy I put into work and class. *shattering noise* (people who've seen that episode of how I met your mother will know what it means) I had a prejudice that everyone will now see me as a looser, failure, all those bad things. But I guess that was just me. Myke said sheridan is missing out on a high quality student.

And, it wasn't just him. even Kirsten in 3D class today asked me whether I got in, and when I said no, she said "you're such a hard working student, I would have said you're definitely getting in. But again, what would I know" Now, by the last sentence, she was only trying to be politically right, as in, she's not the authority on who gets into animation. But The first part she said really means a lot to me. I talked to her more after a while, and she was being really supportive, saying that there's probably some other nice thing right around the corner. She told me about the time portfolio review people at OCAD snickered at her and told her you're not getting into alberta college with this. And she did get into alberta college.

I wonder why my parents have never told me anything like that. Did they never have to come across such a thing in their life?

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Not accepted into animation, YET.

Yesterday, after talking to my parents and sujata, I was feeling so bad, I didn't want to go out and show anyone my face. I figured I should involve myself in something. Something that will give me instant gratification. Since sex was out of the question, (seeing as to how I don't have a girlfriend, and I refuse to ..you know.. pay for sex...) I picked up a different project. I decided to try and use my cellphone as a remote for my camera. And I spent almost all day on that. And my last blog post was a journal of the whole process.

But in the end, I was excited. I went downstairs, and brought up nick. I showed him why he couldn't use my cellphone today. (His phone's undergoing repairs) We joked and talked about the serious stuff, but this time I was ok. I was ok telling everyone that I didn't get into animation except my parents. Because I feared the aftermath. Last time I didn't quite live upto their expectations, was 12th grade. I still remember how the whole thing went down. Right in the middle of our vacation in mumbai. The look on my dad's face. The disbelief in my mom's eyes. We were in a cab, and still my dad didn't hesitate to yell at me. It was one of the worst days of my life.

A few days ago, when I was talking to mom, I could tell she was anxious about the result. But she reassured me by saying "jo hoga, hoga. tune apni poori koshish kiya na." I can't remember when anyone said something like that to me. Everyone always saw me as being the slacker. I was told things like "you'll regret not studying harder." or "I never saw you studying. you NEVER STUDY!" I always got the rap for being a lazy, distracted and vain kid. But yesterday when I told mom I didn't get in, she didn't do that. I could tell she was upset but she didn't sound at all angry. We talked briefly about the things to do now. I even told her I spent $560 dollars on a camera, and she didn't tell me I was extravagant or spendthrift.

The conversation with sujata was a whole another deal. I wanted to know how she felt about not getting into NID and studying in the creative I college. And perhaps, what I feel now, (I will forever regret not getting into sheridan animation) will change in the future, for the better. I will give my parents the chance to read "Failing forward" Might even put up some of my favourite quotes on my wall or notice board. meh. Whatever!

There are signs

Continued from the post "Not accepted into animation, yet"

It may sound or appear like I am taking this well. And I like to think so too. But last night I realized I had kinda lost it, for one whole day. See, when I first found out that my portfolio didn't make it to the cutoff, I came back home, started drawing, and then mickey called....Or did I call him up? That's not important. We decided to go catch a movie. Because what mickey said was "you should say, I'm gonna give myself one hour to feel sorry for myself. Then I'm gonna stop sulking.." Lat night, I realized that I had not talked to people for the most of the day. And I said, ok, I've sulked for a day, and now I am going to go downstairs and get something to drink or eat.

I went downstairs, talked to jon and steph. I had a couple wings and I made myself a glass of milk. I came back upstairs then went to bed a while later. I was really tired. Don't know how. I hadn't done any physically draining activity. I also hadn't had any lunch! My food habits have been rather erratic for the last couple of days. This morning I realize I've lost some weight.

I don't want to land in India looking skinny. Because if they see me skinny, my whole story of "I haven't lost any weight in canada." will look false. So I tried to eat more today. I had some grapes/assorted fruits, a sandwich and half a pizza all day. I was feeling hungry earlier, and I went down to get some milk. And realized there were lumps in the milk. My calculations prove that I didn't even finish half of the two liter milk carton in about 2+weeks. I had to throw that out. My juice seems to have some fibrous stuff forming in it... I'm still drinking it tho. It can't possibly kill me. Cream cheese has started smelling funny too. Will throw it out whenever I feel like it.

This makes me think what was my repression from food was for. like people who eat a lot under stress, do I skip food when I'm stressed?

"But I don't think I'm stressed."
"Oh really? What's with the grinding teeth then?"
"I don't grind my teeth. The toothache is just....candy!"
"halloween was over 5 months ago stupid."

Ok, I admit I've been grinding on my teeth involuntarily as of late. But I stop it as soon as I realize that I'm doing it. (But the tooth and jaw ache just won't go away)....

whoa. I just blanked out. I guess I'll just publish it now.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Nokia E60 is irRemote for nikon D40

There's this application called irRemote for nokia phones that lets you use your cellphone as a universal remote. Only, Its a paid program and I didn't want to pay. I like to steal.

To install the app on my cellphone for free, I first need to override all permissions on my nokia E60. I want to keep things brief so I won't go into they why's of every step here. but if you have a question, feel free to ask.

So I downloaded a symbian application that's called TRK. If anyone needs the download links, ask me personally. I ran that software on the phone. TRK, when launched, searches available bluetooth devices and finds my macbook pro. But I don't want to connect via bluetooth. So I cancel that, go to settings and change connection to USB. Then leave the port number to 1. The configuration is now done.

Now that TRK is set up, I transfer hellocarbide.sis to my phone and install that. I also need to put a .exe file in the C directory. So I connect the phone to my macbook pro in data transfer mode, and put the file in the E directory. Then I install X-plore so that I can move the file from the memory card to the phone memory. After Hellocarbide.exe is successfully moved, its time to actually override the permissions.

I removed the cable and re-Connected it to my macbook pro, in PC Suite mode. In vmware, I was running windows xp lite. I click the little USB icon and then click connect my phone. I had already installed python 2.5 and PYserial. I open the Hack_Perms file using notepad and edit the place where it says ser = serial.serial( ) and add which in my case is 2. and save it.

On the phone, launch TRK and just select options>connect. Now on my mobile screen I get,

Status: Connected
Port Number: 1
Baud rate: 115200

Oh yeah, I think I also installed activepython. Just to be safe. Then I just double click the .py file, the console/command prompt pops up, its python.exe and it runs some script, and boom! I can now access the system folders on my E60.

Right now, the permissions are temporary. I need to go in and replace some sys files in C:/ to make this permanent so that even after restarting my phone, I can still access the private folders. But, I don't have permission to write in them. So I had to run the thing again. This time, I unplugged really carefully.
Then I had to install the capsON and capsOFF tools with which I can change the permissions on the fly at any time.

Then I installed signsis by leftup. This is what will help me sign unsigned .sis files. Now to transfer the sis files I will need to install irRemote. First I execute irRemote setup. It also installs a DRMcommonsolutions component. But I will install the signed one and replace the version installed earlier, which is actually a higher version. First, it said the file was corrupted, so I deleted it and transferred the file from my computer again. While installing, it said some applications need to be closed and I pressed ok.

Now to open SignSis to sign the 'crack' file. I made the file available on my memory card, then selected it in SignSis. then options>selfsign. It creates a new, signed app in the same location, and the extention is .sisx

I kept my fingers crossed the while I was running the new .sisx file. Everything went smoothly. Now to test irRemote! I opened it, went to licences, and it says unlimited license! yay!
But there's one more step before I can use it to control my digital camera. I have to transfer the D40 device profile to my phone.

And although the D40 profile didn't open, I got the remote to work with the nikon D70 profile, and IR mode set to 6. I was also making a video of this when imovie crashed. So for photoproof, you can keep an eye on my flickr page.