Yesterday, after talking to my parents and sujata, I was feeling so bad, I didn't want to go out and show anyone my face. I figured I should involve myself in something. Something that will give me instant gratification. Since sex was out of the question, (seeing as to how I don't have a girlfriend, and I refuse to ..you know.. pay for sex...) I picked up a different project. I decided to try and use my cellphone as a remote for my camera. And I spent almost all day on that. And my last blog post was a journal of the whole process.
But in the end, I was excited. I went downstairs, and brought up nick. I showed him why he couldn't use my cellphone today. (His phone's undergoing repairs) We joked and talked about the serious stuff, but this time I was ok. I was ok telling everyone that I didn't get into animation except my parents. Because I feared the aftermath. Last time I didn't quite live upto their expectations, was 12th grade. I still remember how the whole thing went down. Right in the middle of our vacation in mumbai. The look on my dad's face. The disbelief in my mom's eyes. We were in a cab, and still my dad didn't hesitate to yell at me. It was one of the worst days of my life.
A few days ago, when I was talking to mom, I could tell she was anxious about the result. But she reassured me by saying "jo hoga, hoga. tune apni poori koshish kiya na." I can't remember when anyone said something like that to me. Everyone always saw me as being the slacker. I was told things like "you'll regret not studying harder." or "I never saw you studying. you NEVER STUDY!" I always got the rap for being a lazy, distracted and vain kid. But yesterday when I told mom I didn't get in, she didn't do that. I could tell she was upset but she didn't sound at all angry. We talked briefly about the things to do now. I even told her I spent $560 dollars on a camera, and she didn't tell me I was extravagant or spendthrift.
The conversation with sujata was a whole another deal. I wanted to know how she felt about not getting into NID and studying in the creative I college. And perhaps, what I feel now, (I will forever regret not getting into sheridan animation) will change in the future, for the better. I will give my parents the chance to read "Failing forward" Might even put up some of my favourite quotes on my wall or notice board. meh. Whatever!