Tuesday, October 31, 2006

happy belated birthday mohini.

I just got out of my bed to type in this thought that just occurred. Yeah if I`m awake at this moment, I might as well make myself useful and complete some assignments but nah...

Life is just not worth living without friends. Its too boring and monotonous. With friends you have anecdotes, jokes, smiles and laughs. You have name calling, swearing, anger and fights. You have resentment, confession, sorrow and sadness. You have picking, preferences, favors and jealousy. Friendship brings all these emotions to our lives. Even if they seem negative, friends DO bring those and in the end we value those experiences. They make us who we are. Living alone is such a lifeless life(couldn't I think of anything better to say? actually its really there to make you smile. Didn't want you thinking I had gotten all serious and emotional and senti about this thing) I really feel bad I missed out on all the fun my friends might have had at mohini`s bash today.

Not gonna sit and sulk over that now, just gonna hope we meet in the afternoon and talk all about what happened. Yeah..

"so miss sujata, how did you feel when you found out yash had to drop out?"

"Oh it was just such a relief! I didn't want to go back to all that south park talk so soon anyways. Wish these holidays lasted longer!"

"and what do you have to say about it pranjali?"

"Now we can talk in Marathi without having to translate each and every damn sentence that we speak. Thats such a relief!"

"Sumit? what are your views on this?"

"No one`s gonna call me pongya tonight! And ever since I called him 'lil bro', he`s been acting like a damn baby! Well, I`m off the babysitting duty for now."

"what about you Mohini?"

"I`m on the top of the world you could say. I`m gonna save a lot of money because no yash to gobble up all the food!"

"That was special reporter lalu reporting out to ya, Over and out!"
-




Monday, October 30, 2006

Blank

Its times like this, when I feel that it would have really been better if I didnt have to put in a title for my blog. I cant think what would be appropriate for the way I feel and what I think is about to come next. Its the third day since I was told my admission was finalized. I`m supposed to be readying out my visa documents but I`m preoccupied with other things.

Day before yesterday I was supposed to leave for pune and before going I needed to finalize all the fittings for the renovated bathrooms. So I was out shopping with mom till 1 hour before my train. Then I finally reached home and hurriedly packed my suitcase and bag. But the reservation didnt confirm till the last moment and I had to come back home. I really wished I could get to pune as soon as possible but the ticket for bus that night was just exorbitant! well, I ended up staying here for two more days.

Yesterday, electricity was playing nasty all day. It would come and go over and over again. But the time it was away was more than the time it was available. Then in the evening, we had to go to a party at the city sports club. I had planned to format and reinstall windows on my computer but couldnt do it. iTunes was playing spoilsport. I tried to backup my library using its backup tool but it kept giving me error "your recorder or media is not fast enough" even when I had the speed set to 4x!

Now today I did prepare some documents required for my visa application and am gonna leave for pune at around 10 pm. I know this entry isnt even good enough to announce to my friends. Things havent been going good for anybody. I know I even felt for sumit that he`s running out of creative juices when I read his latest entry. So just for the record..this is me, signing out. see ya in pune.
-


Thursday, October 26, 2006

Finally got the news!

Have shut down the pc because i wanted to be away from people (and also to) sleep but now i'm suddenly not that sleepy anymore. I have mixed state of mind. Lots of shit going on..dont know what exactly to "reflect" upon..

yes this entry is just as small as an sms.. You'd say length of my post has been gradually decreasing. That's because quality material to take inspiration from has been in short supply of late. And i'm tryin to generate interest by being mysterious. That way, people interact more and become contributors rather than just lurkers on the blog. Atleast thats what i hope for..

see where and how quickly my mind drifted away?good night people.

sent frm my E60

Chad`s world

This is the first time I`m trying a trackback url on some blog post that I really really liked. Its over at worldofchad.net titled stupid google. He describes the really funny situation when his blog was discovered by his mom. Many bloggers are afraid of someone or the other reading their blog right? so go over and read what his experience was and other`s comments over it.

by the way, I dont give a shit what u think of the stuff I`ve said! so go f*** yourself! Ahem...
-



Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Huzaifa`a place

I was really looking forward to going to huzaifa`s place today,(no not really for the chicken, I had many other expectations too.) but for the overall experience. Hoped there`d be many people and would get to meet some old acquaintances I havent met in a while. And, I was gonna get my lost and pink panther and Schindler`s list dvd from abhishek.

In the morning, I had totally forgotten about the dvds and so didnt mention it when I was chatting with abhishek. If I had, he might have brought it, but even he forgot. By, the way, its his birthday today, happy birthday again abhishek. Mom was rather pleased on seeing me all bathed and dressed up and asked me where I was going in a very uncomfortable tone..(I`m not used to mom being all nice to me, and neither is she used to me being so 'propah'.

Abhishek had told me the way to huzaifa`s house was through one of the worst roads in akola. Still, I decided to take div`s wave because you never know..what if I have to come back early and abhishek has to say back or vice versa..Its always good and convenient to have your own mode of transport handy. So we rode to his house and it wasnt all that bad..perhaps because it was only 10am.

In his room, he has a nice home theater setup and obvious test drive was the fast and the furious tokyo drift movie.(pun intended) I can almost never get tired of watching that movie. Its soundtrack is whats got me hooked. And the songs as well as the effects sounded great on the little artis system. We even watched simpsons on it.

(its not complete but I want to go to sleep and if I post it tomorrow, its gonna make no sense.
-





Monday, October 23, 2006

Hustle!

hus‧tle
  • to push or force one's way;
  • jostle or shove.
  • to be aggressive, esp. in business or other financial dealings.
  • to earn one's living by illicit or unethical means.


not in any of those sense. I mean hurry. I had to hurry out of my house at exactly 7 pm when we were supposed to be meeting online. The reason? My sheridan application procedure..Dad just announced that a snail mail arrived in pune from sheridan college asking me to send my 12th transcript, AGAIN. And I must do it right now!I apologized to suju and left immediately.

Once there, I talked to dad, whether the 2nd fax had arived yet.(because there was something wrong with the printer, the first fax didnt come out right) But it hadnt so I had time to wait. I instantly smsed div to sign out of the messenger, and I opened meebo.com and signed into my yahoo id so that I could chat with sujata. Now the cool feature about meebo is that it saves your chat history online, kinda like google, so that wherever you open your id from, you can look up to the previous conversations. So I read suju`s messages, its ok, first things first and thought for a second there, should I chat now, or not? But I did. Typing away as fast as I could because I also had to type a new cover letter, stating my student id and also that I`m forwarding my hsc board certificate.

Then while doing that, another thing cropped up. I had seen this before, but didnt really care for it, but now dad wanted me to find a solution. The ms word would show silly glittery little color dots all around the cursor and the areas where text was entered. So now I had to go to the thinkdigit forum too. Quickly did a search for something like tht already being addressed to no success. Then I quickly typed my own topic and exited.

In a while, the fax from pune had arrived, luckily this time it was legible...mostly. So I faxed it, and all the rush, pumping adrenaline all calmed down. Now all thats left to do is wait, wait and wait. I`ll happily update you as soon as they say I`m in. Good night.
-





Saturday, October 21, 2006

Happy diwali

I just want to wish happy diwali to you(not necessarily in any order of preference)

sumit - the reason I log into yahoo messenger

Sahil - The reason I hate fat people even more than I used to

sujata - The reason I dont hate all fat people anymore

pranjali - The reason I`m not called chotu in the group

Harsh - The reason why I dont feel bad about me being so skinny

Mohini - The reason I got over my fear of speaking marathi

Pranav - The reason I got rid of my hair

Shruti - The reason I started and then stopped giving missed calls

Sagar - The reason I have so many funny anecdotes to tell to my friends

Suraj - The reason I stopped thinking "man I have so many pimples"

Nikita - The reason I started thinking people can really improve for the better

Ruchi didi - The reason I used to pity harsh and later got jealous of harsh

Divya - The reason I enjoy being a "naughty boy"

Tina - The reason I didnt have to wear my school uniform pant outdoors when I stayed over at monu didi`s place on weekends(I used to wear HER jeans)

Monu didi - The reason I would look forward to coming to akola

Sonu didi - The reason I have sanika to play with

Sanika - The reason I got to go to bonsai(I really had a fantastic time there)

Anup - The reason I thank god("thank you god for NOT giving me parents like his")

Vickky - The reason I am afraid of atom bombs..

Greenmonster - The reason I get to be in touch with my mature side(for the brief moment when I`m reading her blog)

Abhishek - The reason I get bored and sometimes even annoyed of being online.

Mohit - The reason I am almost always about to tear my hair off

Vishal - The reason I started playing ragnarok

Samrat - The reason I miss the basketball court so much

Amit - The reason I got so many south park eps to watch

Naveen - The reason I never regretted being in mumbai

Richa - The reason I now feel much more comfortable with the opposite sex(I mean MY opposite sex..girls)


really sorry if I left someone out..its just because I couldnt recall ur name`s spelling at the moment or I couldnt think of anything to say for u.

-




Friday, October 20, 2006

Connections by Soul

I was just reading my friend Greenmonster`s blog chameleon in the shadow of the night. And her latest post was something I could really relate to.

I remembered this exchange of sms I had with my friend sumit a few days ago. Sumit had send me an sms apologizing for something I had totally forgotten about. And referred to me as lil bro. Thats when I had asked him what relation he thinks is more important, friends or "family"/siblings.. I narrated to him the case of my and my cousin harsh, whom I consider a friend because we`re so close despite the age difference and we share everything with each other and there`s no sibling rivalry and no "formalities" of respect etc,but still, as I`m the older one, he calls me yash bhaiya, thats it. And he said He`d consider his siblings more important than his (please note here,..) "guy friends".

But after reading greenmonster`s post, I found the right answer. No matter how I`m related to someone, If we make a connection "by soul", thats more important to acknowledge than any other relation out there!

Thanks green.
-


Thursday, October 19, 2006

No firecrackers tonight!

We usually go to buy our stock of firecrackers on the night of dhanteras, which is the first day of diwali puja. But tonight, we didnt go. Maybe dad would have taken us later, but I am feeling too sleepy for that. I`ve been sleeping late for 2 days at a strech now and its left me really tired tonight. we just did the puja and put the diyas in the gallery. That too was pretty late around 9pm.. Then I didnt even see the kids-my niece and nephew firing crackers next door so even I totally forgot about pestering dad to go get firecrackers.. well, lets just look at it this way: We helped keep the environment a little clean for one night. But dont expect that to happen the next 4 nights! I love my firecrackers! I would never want to give up this once in a year opportunity to fire to my heart`s contempt.

That makes This afternoon the most interesting part of the day! I was out with tina to give some sweets and gifts to anu didi`s and sonu didi`s house. I didnt enjoy much at anu didi`s "sasural". Its a boring place we both agreed. But sonu didi`s place was fun..because of the obvious reason that sonu didi was there and also sanika. I took a lot of pictures and videos of her and played a lot with her! And I didnt feel like leaving but we had to. Because tauji had to go someplace at 4 and we had to get back home in time for the driver to go have lunch and come back BEFORE 4.(was that rhyming? heck I dont really care)

After we got back home, I watched television! and thats a big deal because tata sky dth service was installed at er place just a day before! I could finally watch vh1 in akola and nickelodeon and cartoon network in english and all the channels that I always longed for but didnt get them here.. All that, in excellent quality picture and sound! And it costs just 200rs per month and 4k for set top box and installation. I wanna pester dad into getting that for this house too!
-





Wednesday, October 18, 2006

An sms to keep the blues away

I was really tired and irritated and gloomy. Mom had been yelling at me all day to do chores around the house and I needed a break but I didnt get it. I was just standing around like a zombie doing nothing which made mom even more angry! (This was like a cycle..) then she yells at me and that makes me even more pissed.

And I didnt see any light at the end of the tunnel. Seemed like my miseries will never end..because I wasnt ready to deal with that attitude of hers and she wouldnt take any of my "laziness".. She demanded that I clean up my room but I replied with a big NO! just then, I got an sms from a dear friend and everything changed.. I was feeling all better and I even said yes and did the next chore mom assigned to me without any hesitation. And for me, to do "chores" "WITHOUT HESITATION" is a big deal!!!

So, I`m analysing why this is so.. Pranav rarely smses me these days..even as a reply to my smses..This used to annoy and make me very uncomfortable in the beginning but I`m ok with it now..I`ve learnt to deal with it. But still, I always expect to see his name in the sender box. And there are many moments of disappointment but I`m still always optimistic.. Thus when that moment finally arrives, that my expectations are fulfilled, its something I cant describe.. even I dont have words for that.

what if sumit were to do the same thing? He is one person I know who ALWAYS helps me out in crisis..mainly my emotional ups and downs.. its like I`m always suffering from pms..(this is physically not possible that was just sarcasm) and still sumit hasn`t ever gotten frustrated and told me to "go fuck yourself"... he has the patience of a saint I tell ya! so if my only psychiatrist stops "treating" me, I`ll be in an institution before long.

This leaves me thinking, would it have a similar effect on my friends if I start replying to smses only once in a bluemoon..I should give them a chance to miss me huh? And surprise them with an sms once in a while.. But I couldnt do that. I cant be aloof.. my peeps are indispensable to me. The silent and aloof kind is not me.so I`ll keep announcing daily events to everyone related to it and who would be interested, as long as I have balance in my cell. Because an sms is enough to keep the blues away.
-


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

And now I`m cool.

I knew I wasnt "a big pussy who doesnt have any guts in him" and so I did talk to pranav about this. wasnt as big a task as I had imagined and made it look like. It really helps when you have such an understanding friend as him.

I noticed mom was asleep and dad was in the office so I slipped out and went to the terrace and called him up. It all went so smooth. no hesitations or impulsive actions. was on the phone for like 20 minutes..I said to him I still dont have anything to say really I just want to keep listening to you like always. And he obliged. at then end of it all, I was much more relaxed and calm and happy.

It could have been the endorphins that were produced because of all the excersize that I got from walking around the terrace anxiously trying to reach his cell. His cell was engaged with someone else for quite some time before I got through to him and started chatting. Even then, I was moving aimlessly around to and fro. Well, it could also have been the fresh air..NO it was all him. Talking with him is what has always cured me. (It would be unfair to NOT mention sumit here... he`s the first one to see the obnoxious anxious, side of me and still stuck around and comforted me. And he`s the first one I reach out to in a time of crisis)

well, thats that. The main purpose of this entry wasnt to convey this to you.. it was to test a kinda glitch in the new template. This template shows the date on the top before the title of the post. But it also shows the timestamp at the bottom of the post WITH THE DATE. So what is the purpose of the date on the top I thought...Then I felt that maybe it doesnt appear above every post...it appears above every post that was posted on a different date. i.e. if I post another entry today itself, it would only display the day and date once;on top of this entry and not before the next entry because it was also posted on the same date.(well, if u dont get it, never mind..its no big deal.

-

Stupid gamble.

Ok, so I`m on the phone with pranav and I just stopped speaking. I cant think of anything else to say. I recall the time I was talking with sujata..she said she cant think of anything to say to pranav anymore... its like they`ve drifted apart. Then I remember the time I told pranav about tha and he said even 'the others' dont know what to talk to pranav about..

That really scared me. Because I believe we had a special friendship. Not like between him and any of the other people discussed above. I really felt like we were gonna be "friends for ever" but then this happens and I`m thinking have we been distanced? how could this happen? We were so much alike and had gotten so close in such a short time..

so I hung up. I said something else is distracting me right now...and it was.. I had to sms my older bro, my psychiatrist, the great philosopher who has all the answers.

me:man I didnt think this would happen with me but it just did. Right now, I was talking with pranav and I couldnt think of what to say next..so I hung up saying something`s distracting me..talked to suju..hate that I cant sms her anymore...

well the last part is unimportant..or is it? I had thought I`d also forward this sms to pranav...

surprised? My brain just urged me to do that. Lets see what he has to say to that.. what his reaction would be..but because it had to lok like it was sent to pranav by a mistake, I had to add that part which makes it clear that I was sending it to sumit but instead sent it to pranav.

I am pretty sure I`ll confess this to pranav before he gets to read this...if not, I`m just a big pussy who doesnt have any guts in him and is better off alone anyways.

as of now, pranav still hasnt responded and I cant even imagine whats going on in his head.

next sms I send is to bhaiya : hey dude I had deliberately sent that sms to pranav2..dunnowhats gonna happen now. but I just felt I should play this gamble.hmm this is interestin to blog about

which is exactly what I`m doing now..

he replied: its fine pal, sometims it happens like that, clogged thoughts u see. chuck it off from your mind as I always suggest you to. alrite? ;-)

me: but dude we always talked..thats something I really cherished and was proud of..

him: dont take enerything for granted boss. not even your own thoughts and feelings. and why are u thinking so extremely? it may be temporary. and you can call suju and know her instant reaction.

I havent called suju yet. I`m not gonna. dont want to ruin her vacation...

And if I cant trust my gut instincts/feelings, what CAN I trust? this is just so puzzling now.. I need to talk to someone in private to resolve this. But cant because everyone in the house is able to hear if I say anything even in the lowest volume necessary to carry out a phone conversation.
now my brains stopped functioning. I`m sitting here like a zombie typing away..I`m sweaty but dont want to move. somebody save me!
-



Monday, October 16, 2006

what a bash!

And it was a really tiring ordeal. drawing tattoos for kids AND grown ups! As soon as it was announced that I`m drawing tattoos, all the kids came rushing towards me in a matter of seconds. That was so intimidating at first..I wasnt ready for this kind of response. But now I couldnt retreat. I had to face the crowd and do my stuff. My first tatto in the party was shubhi. I quickly drew the cartoon character bloo with a red gift box in his hands on her arm. That time I hadnt even gotten a table to properly set up my colors and everything.. but that tattoo was pretty good too.

Then as soon as my table was set up, I was swiftly making tattoos of mickey,bugs bunny,little black smiley faces and everything on kids` hands/arms.. none wanted their face painted surprisingly..hehe.. well, "indore waale jijaji" wanted to get a tattoo on his cheek...LOL.. I had drawn a really sexy angel on my left forearm in the house that was admired and envied by everyone. He wanted THAT. but obviously, his wife wouldnt let him... so he asked me to draw an apple on his cheek...so he can ask ladies if they want to taste the apple. ;) no need to mention he wasnt obliged...I couldnt have...LOL

The most annoying moment also needs to be mentioned here, when some bit** was treating me like a..well..someone who`s hired for the job..."now you mind your language bit** I`m not under anybody`s orders and I`ll do what I want because I volunteered for this and I have the right to NOT draw anything on your baby`s hand unless I want to! so you can just piss off" is what I felt like saying to her. And the high time was when someone else asked if I do this professionally..hmm...what if I had said yes to her? A nice big contract for some party? oh god no!!! Good thing I told her the truth.

But the tattos...(oh well I`m not discussing anything else here because this was all about the tattoos to me. I didnt have my digicam with me because I had forgotten its charger and data cable in pune and wasnt paying much attention to it since I came here. So for the first time after a long time since my digicam arrived, I was thoroughly enjoying the party then and there; as it was supposed to be enjoyed; without worrying about capturing the moments so I could look at them and enjoy the moments later...what an irony huh? Anyways, I didnt miss my camera at all. But I did get to take some pictures with monu didi`s nokia N70 cellphone that has a HUGE shutter lag! hate that darn thing!!!)

Lets get back to the tattoos shall we? I had started the tribal sun design on monu didi`s hand but she got up and left because the birthday cake was being cut. but then I completed that tattoo on another`s hand before hers...infact, her tattoo was left incomplete till the end of the party..so I said I`ll draw u a nice one tomorrow or the day after when u`re leaving for durg.
-







Saturday, October 14, 2006

Tired and sleepy but got to update.

Happy birthday sanika for one last time before the day ends, may you get all the best things in life.

It was her cute chubby face that started my day this morning and I`m very happy for the very same reason. I`ve been eating like anything since I got here..A HUGE breakfast of samosas and kachoris at tina`s place and then again another round of snacks and cake at sonu didi`s house. I have probably mentioned to all my friends I`ve talked to through the day that sanika loved my present. The smiling and happy expression she gave was worth much more than anything I could ever get her. I bet jijaji thinks that each and every day, each and every time he sees her.well, everybody for that matter.

I`m trying harder to be in touch with my friends this time as I dont think I could deal with the same thing that happened last time happening again. But it probably wont. The bond that we have now after the exhibition is unbreakable. And I`ve learnt to deal with not being around pranav anymore(yeah finally)..I believe we`re still friends but I`ve let go of the tight possesiveness I`ve had of him in the past.good times ahead in store for me and everyone around me then..I dont know how many hours I`ve been on the phone today but the longest was with mohini..wuite unexpected..I didnt think I could hold a conversation with her for that long but I did...I narrated "the night at the railway station with a guy called sumit" and not gonna write that here because I`d verbally narrate it over and over again to anybody interested because I`ll always remember it no matter what!

I and div decided to go buy some hand made paper for making greetings. Wow! another stationery shopping spree! I bought same kind of papers that I had in pune and a new kind. I also looked for some good papers for printouts but none were available in a4 sizes...they said they could cut it into a4 for me..but I was doubtfull. so then we went and bought some 3d colours..I remember they produced excellent efect on many cards in pune. spent around 182 on that..but I dont care. I wanted to do something creative as soon as I got back home but I had to go with mom to pic electrical fittings for our bathrooms that are being renovated..so I only had time to draw vicky a ghost tattoo..he liked it and I was happy I could do it.

well the task of picking the fittings with mom was darn boring and ardous..but what has to be done, has to be done! after that, dinner and now sitting in dad`s office again scanning a pc for viruses with avast antivirus. got enough time to complete my post I thought. so that was that..really.good night, sweet dreams.
-




Friday, October 13, 2006

A tribute

Disclaimer:

I am writing a disclaimer for the following reasons:

1.] It is the ‘IN’ thing as of now. Every other blogger writes a disclaimer these days for no apparent reason.


2.] It is to impress upon the reading audience that the author of this post is not as desperate for girls as he pretends to be.

3.] (ok now lets get serious) You have the right to remain happy and cheerful around me. Anything potentially depressing you say can and WILL be used in this blog.

4.]
All the lines I copied, (Courtesy: A 4 year engineering degree) have been duly credited to their respective authors in this post itself. Any inadvertent copying and imitation is unintentionally and subconsciously done. (You’ve read this line elsewhere in the newspapers, haven’t you?? But it’s ok in my case for the simplest reason that I am not getting 20 crores like Kaavya Vishwanathan as advance for writing this piece of junk.).

5.]
Any disgust or pity for me is to be kept to yourselves. I don’t need any of those. I have got enough of it.

6.] Before sahil (or anyone for that matter)
thinks of suing me, I will clarify that this is all a matter of jest and not directed towards anyone in particular. Except for ofcourse sahil and the people mentioned..
DAMN! MY BIG MOUTH...

7.] Lastly, I must confess, I copied this whole concept from a-nutty-ket which is written by aniket patil and I really like reading to whatever he has to write there from time to time.

8.] Oh one more thig, lose any hopes you have, of me stopping to blog in the near future. Thats not happening no matter what u say :P

-





Thursday, October 12, 2006

when yash finally met sid

I knew it was going to be a blast because of what suju had already told me about her little brother siddharth. So I was eager to meet him since the day suju announced he'll be coming to pune. I was thinking what kinds of things i'd share with him and how I'd entertain him.

In the beginning, he was rather quiet and subdued. I dont know what was more fun, sid teasing suju or suju's expressions on getting irritated at that. That's when I said "I like him already!" (no that's not my dialogue..its been used in many movies already cars or fast and the furious tokyo drift) He's really good at irritating suju with little things. Ask suju.. Even she'll vouch that I was having the best time!

Then we played our drinking ritual game "I never" with sid. I have to admire, he understood the game faster than many other people in the group. He did have some i never's to say too and they were fun really..kinda childish but then he's only 12. We were getting tired of drinking so I decided to stop so I could save the rest for playing it with sumit alone.

Me and siddharth then watched some cartoons and music videos together. Dexter's lab and one man band and crazy frog video "we are the champions".. He wasn't interested in sponge bob square pants and I didnt want to let him see south park yet.
Then there was nothing to do so suju decided to take him home or for a movie.

That was that and sumit didnt take much interest in playing the game with me..darn i missed the chance of getting him to disclose some more secrets to me.. Shit!

sent frm my E60

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

when stranded alone & no 1 to communicate with

It started raining heavily all of a sudden and washed away all my plans. I had to go to bonsai to buy a present for sanika's birthday. But it was already 8:30 when I was in front of pyramid at sena pati bapat road so I decided to do that first thing tomorrow.

The idea of taking pictures of lightening had facincted me since many days and I had noticed lightening in the sky continuing since quite some time. I didnt figure it'd start raining but it did. Yeah that was sudden and I didnt have a rain coat so I stopped under a tree and sent out 2sms to suju and sumit..no reply.. In a while, the rain started getting heavier. I noticed people running inside this plot and saw a shade there..much better that those tree leaves. So I ran in too. By what I read on boards around there, it was the MSEB DISTRIBUTION CENTRE or something..

I sent div an sms hoping for a reply and thus something to do rather than just blankly stare at those other people's faces. But when she didnt reply either, I started typing this blog entry.. A little while later, I got a reply from suju saying its the reply to last 3 smses I had sent her..now thats an innovative way to conserve balance. ;)

well I had been standing almost all day in the exhibition and my feet were really tired. So i looked around for a place to sit and found a row of chairs laid out under another tin roof. This was the first time i felt like thanking the MSEB people.. Well, sitting there, I didnt even notice how much time had passed and when it stopped raining, I left for home.

sent frm my E60

disclosure time

Last night we were at suju's playing truth or dare when i was asked when was the last time i cried (i.e. Felt so sad that tears came out the eyes - for people with no heart who don't know what crying is) so i didnt have to give it another thought.. I recalled the sleep over at my place when I was upstairs in bed with sumit asleep and pranav talkin to me. That was the last time i had tears in my eyes..

though I didnt recall the conversation between us then, I do now. And I think I better disclose it because I think they should know the complete truth. I had asked pranav what he thinks about me because I know he never lies and that he can evaluate people and their personalities very easily. But I was damn scared. What if like a previous time, I cant handle the truth? What if he says some thing about me thats potentially hurtful? Something like i'm a bad friend or he doesnt like me as a friend..that I'm an ass hole, stupid, dick head.. So just thinking all this I started crying even before he started speaking. I was mentally preparing myself for the pandora's box that I seemed to have opened.

But what he did say about me was for me and me alone..like the oracle in matrix. That concerns no other. They wouldn't make much difference to anybody else.

sent frm my E60

Monday, October 09, 2006

first day of diwali exhibition

Me & sumit got here too early. All the others didnt arrive untill around 10am. But then all the hustle-bustle started. Getting the lanterns from the library, tying string to hang them.. I was feeling very weak today so sumit did almost all the work while I stood there and ordered just like a typical irritating nagging boss.

when the gals finally arrived with the greetings, we or more appropriately they, set up the table. Sumit rode down to his place to get colours to make a poster and I continued taking photos of the greetings and chatting with monu didi.

I'm thinkin why did I remove my poster colours from my bag this morning. If I hadn't removed it from the bag, it would have saved some time and petrol. Well now the others are out and I'm all alone keeping a watch on the stall..well kind of..I've been typing this for a while now so I think I'd better stop.

sent frm my E60

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The sweetest thing anybody ever said to me

Suju's worrying too much about me since yesterday. I remember her saying "I hope you don't think I'm tryin to create a distance between you and pranav" to me right after we left college. Well nobody could create a distance between us two except for maybe,.. "pranav" himself. Like lately, pranav's not replyin to my sms much and we haven't gone for a movie together since that unfateful night..

today suju was online and was definately pissed that i said i didnt like the visiting card design that she made. She wanted to tell me to bugger off but she again controlled herself because she knew i might put something like that in my blog(suju I really admire you if you're still reading it) then later she apologized via sms and said dont mind the chat.

I didnt mind it at all. I told suju you should relax about me already. But what I couldn't directly tell you, lemme tell you that now, - one of the main reasons why I would always stick with you is one simple sms. The one you sent me on 5th september around 9pm. Don't think I'd told anyone how strongly I feel about that sms but Since then I decided I'd never ditch you. Now if you dont remember what that sms was, and hoping I'd tell you, you're so wrong. ;)

sent frm my E60

Saturday, October 07, 2006

mayday mayday : part 2

My (Friend)ship caught in severe turbulence.
(part one here)

6th october 1700hours : We were hanging out downstairs(in front of the college) and by we I mean our group (christened cheers) of sujata sumit mohini and pranjali(yeah yeah another parenthesis [rolling eyes]; sorry pranjali I wrote wrong name for you in one previous post..) when mayank came and told me pranav`s calling me upstairs. so I went. (I still havent found out what u think of my "one long sentence followed by another really short sentence" way of narrating.please comment.)

Upstairs he was siting with all he people he usually hangs out with now-a-days...dont want to waste my blog writing names...if u dont know already, you probably dont care. So I talked to him and as soon as I was dont with it, I walked straight to the last bench of the row right in front of the window so I could keep an eye on my buddies downstairs. those guys up front were having some discussion about khojagiri with sir..me?Never celebrated khojagiri and not too keen on it either. So they went on blabbering on for what seemed like an eternity. shruti was kind enough to invite me to sit closer to them but I smiled and enied the offer. No one except shruti and pranav matter even a bit to me. I waited. Thinking that he`ll get up now and say lets leave but it was just taking so long- an eternity. And suju hadnt replied or anything to the sms I sent her so I was making a plae to throw down when she came.

(Sit tight now folks the story is just getting intense...right suju?)

Took me out, we sat on the stairs and started talking. She brought up this topic in a way I least expected and I was totally off guards...no preparation.(she HAD told me before she needed to talk to me abt something but it wasnt hint enough for me that i would be this) She told me rest of the group wasnt comfortable with pranav around.(nope thats not the shocking part. I did know kinda that they werent comfortable...just didnt realize it was that big of a problem..) suju made me realize tht the sleepover when pranav came was a big bore to the other 3. And asked me not to involve him with rest of group from now on.. cool enough so far.

But....she had to go and ask me why I like pranav so much. That was one of the most difficult questions I had been asked in a while. I didnt know where to start explaining her. I just said a simple " I like being with him" but she didnt accept that...she wanted something maybe more insightfull or more detailed... I couldnt think of what to say...I figured the chat me and sumit had would be good enough so I told her I would send her that because I had asked sumit to save that and email it to me... well, that was just a diversion. To buy me some time till when I could actually think of something to tell her. But dont think thats anytime soon. Even wouldnt want to talk to her about the chat. I dont think I`m ready to discuss that topic now...

6th october 1830 hours : even when I was going to pranav`s place, I couldnt get that out of my head. I was thinking...why It was so dificult for me to tell suju the reasons why I like him..it should have been so obvious when I know him so much and we share so many interests and everything, why was it so cryptic? probably because some things have changd lately...I`m not good at adaptation/evolution...I cant deal with changes easily unlike some other people. And the worst thing to change is my mind. Maybe someime I might go ahead and say I can deal with changes pretty easily...thats just a changed state of mind. but this weather that has changed all of a sudden...


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Mayday Mayday: part one

IS THIS THE LULL BEFORE THE STORM?

7th oct 2:30 am : pranav fell asleep while taking rest on the bed because his stomach started aching all of a sudden. Acute pain. I'll let him sleep. By what he's told me about his routine lately,(not sleeping at all and constantly working on assignments) I know he really needs it. So i'm gonna let him sleep. but what I`m more concerned with is whether it was some of the food he ate at my place.. My stomach is a dump for all junk food so it probably didnt affect me but his digestive system is completely different than mine so maybe something affected him and not me. Wonder if I should say this to taiji...

Tonight would have been more play instead of the "all work" kind that we seemed to be having so far. Ok sure we did do many other activities but the 'dhmaal' that would have happened if our group was here is unbeatable! The drinks that we could just go out and get..all the snacks - chips kurkure etc.. There was no boring moment though..hard to be bored when you are totally engrossed in doing some work. Like helping out a friend in need. There were only quiet moments. or concentrating moments...when no one said anyhing. (But atleast we didnt have to resort to stupidity like sumit`s silly questions)


Though I did feel like I`m being used by him because he started making the parrot for the 3d assignment, I overcame that feeling. Then I thought what if Sumit feels the same way when I ask him to complete my assignments? I made it a point to ask him that tomorrow. But I really enjoy the company of pranav and I wouldnt want to do anything to upset him and make him not want to be with me. which will be discussed in the second part.. so untill then...


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Friday, October 06, 2006

This is my black box!

I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold."
? ? ? ?
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day,
The black! was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me.."

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."

I just got this as a forward from an acquaintance and I could relate it to me. This blog is like my black box that "internet" gifted me. I put all my sorrows in here and though I dont see no hole, it seems to go away. Right now, I am not in the position to make a full fledged post about my day and my thoughts/feelings throught because pranav is here in my room and I wouldnt want to read it right here..I dont know what he`d think and what he`d say..I`m not prepared-like always.

aww look, if I had to have him around when he came to know these things I`d have told it to him myself verbally right then...
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when a geek needs his internet,.. He needs his net.

I am so freakin tired of having to wait for what is one of the 3 necessities of my life..food,house and internet access! And the wait is never easy or short. It always has to be a few hours! Sure we only have one broadband connection but HELLO DUMBASS.. Have you ever heard of internet connection sharing? Your laptop has two ways to connect with the modem and one way to connect to my pc..or the pc has two lan ports so it can be connected to modem AND laptop at the same time..a simple setup and I wont need to beg. But I guess he wants me to! But he's the last person on earth..well one of the last people on earth i would beg..

I can imagine myself stranded on an island somewhere like in the serial lost. And there are arjun,nikku,anu didi,'anup and family' and sahil and tushar and sandeep and sneha-not sneha jadhav (for those who dont know, these are another 3 ass holes from fc.) thats like 10 people who i'd never want to survive with..i'd either try to be rescued from that place real soon or i'd kill myself!

sent frm my E60

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

my house-an epitome of dis-orderliness

Well I had decided, kinda in my mind that i should refrain from blogging from mobile if everybody's gonna want to read the entry on my phone itself.(like it happened with the sleepover post) but I cant help but ponder-in public-about what happened in my house today. Arjun bhaiya and taiji were looking for the cable of the sony camera taiji brought from canada. He wanted to transfer photos of last night's party to computer..so if they dont manage to find it, we'll have to buy a card reader.

that was yesterday.now this morning, when i needed to urgently transfer some photos to my pc, I couldn't find MY camera's data cable. Turns out arjun used my data cable for his camera! And left me with the task of searching all over for what I always placed in its fixed place. That so pissed me off! Wasted few minutes of my morning.. Which I could have utilized for somethin else I'd actually like to do..like chat with abhinav or browse around flickr..

But why doesnt someone in this house start placing things where they can find it and save me some trouble! I totally dont have a answer for that..

sent frm my E60

Monday, October 02, 2006

And I have competition!!!

And what a one sided competition it is! So I`m gonna pull out my stat counters and advertise heavily! surf blog traffic exchange sites and leave links almost everywhere. Because I`m intimidated. I`m really not taking this lightly. There is another big player BACK in blogosphere after a long absense and he`s still strong! I`m talking ofcourse of my friend Sumit who goes by the alias "Abhinav" and blogs here.

Its not just random everyday thoughts and happenings/events like mine. He`s an excellent writer(script/story u decide) and poet and also a musician(although I doubth his blog has anything to do with music..) so why dont u visit his blog and let him know where you came from and that I`m all set to make a better blog than his.

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Sunday, October 01, 2006

What do u hink I am? a kindergartner?

I was just doing my caligraphy assignment for 5 minutes when I realized, THIS IS BULLSHIT! We are being made to do stuff we were doing in kindergarten and 1-3rd grade! write a single alphabet over and over again many times. But right now we have more stuff to do that just that. We can do much more than just write letters so why dont you give us some REAL assignment than just writing the same letter over and over again into 3 pages?!!!

And all this for what? we`re only gonna get scored within 10 for this...can u imagine what one letter is worth? that ways, why would anyone care about getting a single letter correct? this is a vain assignment you hear me? this is BULLCRAP!
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