6th october 1700hours : We were hanging out downstairs(in front of the college) and by we I mean our group (christened cheers) of sujata sumit mohini and pranjali(yeah yeah another parenthesis
Upstairs he was siting with all he people he usually hangs out with now-a-days...dont want to waste my blog writing names...if u dont know already, you probably dont care. So I talked to him and as soon as I was dont with it, I walked straight to the last bench of the row right in front of the window so I could keep an eye on my buddies downstairs. those guys up front were having some discussion about khojagiri with sir..me?Never celebrated khojagiri and not too keen on it either. So they went on blabbering on for what seemed like an eternity. shruti was kind enough to invite me to sit closer to them but I smiled and enied the offer. No one except shruti and pranav matter even a bit to me. I waited. Thinking that he`ll get up now and say lets leave but it was just taking so long- an eternity. And suju hadnt replied or anything to the sms I sent her so I was making a plae to throw down when she came.
(Sit tight now folks the story is just getting intense...right suju?)
Took me out, we sat on the stairs and started talking. She brought up this topic in a way I least expected and I was totally off guards...no preparation.(she HAD told me before she needed to talk to me abt something but it wasnt hint enough for me that i would be this) She told me rest of the group wasnt comfortable with pranav around.(nope thats not the shocking part. I did know kinda that they werent comfortable...just didnt realize it was that big of a problem..) suju made me realize tht the sleepover when pranav came was a big bore to the other 3. And asked me not to involve him with rest of group from now on.. cool enough so far.
But....she had to go and ask me why I like pranav so much. That was one of the most difficult questions I had been asked in a while. I didnt know where to start explaining her. I just said a simple " I like being with him" but she didnt accept that...she wanted something maybe more insightfull or more detailed... I couldnt think of what to say...I figured the chat me and sumit had would be good enough so I told her I would send her that because I had asked sumit to save that and email it to me... well, that was just a diversion. To buy me some time till when I could actually think of something to tell her. But dont think thats anytime soon. Even wouldnt want to talk to her about the chat. I dont think I`m ready to discuss that topic now...
6th october 1830 hours : even when I was going to pranav`s place, I couldnt get that out of my head. I was thinking...why It was so dificult for me to tell suju the reasons why I like him..it should have been so obvious when I know him so much and we share so many interests and everything, why was it so cryptic? probably because some things have changd lately...I`m not good at adaptation/evolution...I cant deal with changes easily unlike some other people. And the worst thing to change is my mind. Maybe someime I might go ahead and say I can deal with changes pretty easily...thats just a changed state of mind. but this weather that has changed all of a sudden...
-
blog things
my life
No comments:
Post a Comment