Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The cycle dream.

This morning I woke up with the most amazing feeling in a while! Thanks to the second dream I had tonight. But I'll be going chronologically, and will tell you guys the first dream I had.

I was in a clothing store looking at jackets. Not any ordinary store, this one looked like a pretty high end expensive clothing store. Now I had bought my American Eagle jacket a few weeks ago on a Monday. (I don't remember the date) but in the dream, I didn't have that one on me. And I looked at one jacket which looked like the synthetic material ones that a lot of sports brands like Nike and Adidas have. I didn't like it. So the salesman showed me denim jackets, which I really liked. This was kind of like the Ralph Lauren denim jacket Aniruddh Bhaiya had brought from canada A few years ago. But that jacket was too big for me. And even now, it probably is.. haha. But I still loved that jacket. Arjun Bhaiya used to wear it a lot.

Well, I don't remember if I ended up buying that jacket in the dream. Lets just move on to the second more exciting dream of the night. It seemed like I was in some exotic location, vacationing with certain people, who seemed to be some kind of celebrities, or actors even. In the dream, they were my acquaintances, maybe even friends.. but it was not someone from real life. (Makes me wonder where have all my friends gone? Why don't I dream about them anymore? ) We could have just been tourists, but I feel there is also a possibility it was all in a movie. Hah! Like I would be an actor! /sarcasm.

Everyone except me, had a bicycle we would use to commute. So I walk into a cycle store that is very close by. I didn't look around or ask people.. I just knew the cycle shop. And as I walk into the store, I know the person who works there. It's like we've recently met. I tell him I need a cycle, and he just lets me take one. I head out with my cycle, but my friends have already gone without me. So I jump on the cycle to try and catch up with them. But I can't seem to be able to ride the bike really well. Like I've forgotten how to ride a bibycle. I wobble and almost run into things, still picking up more speed. Now the surroundings have started looking like a dirt village road in India...as opposed to the developed country urban intersection where the dream started... This dirt road looks like seoni or Akola and I am riding on the left side... when I finally hit a little mud hill and crash and fall.

That's when I woke up, and I really wanted to go ride a bike! I figured I'd ge around to it, but I didn't. I did other things that did relate to the first dream, but the post is already too long. And I still want to tak about what the cycle incident alludes to, in real life.

For the last couple of days, I've had a google chat archive open in a firefox window. evey time I exit the browser, it saves the open pages and reloads them next time. One of the pages is the chat I had with Pranav, about the bike that got stolen from sheridan college last year. And I was responsible for loosing it because I hadn't locked it. And funny thing is, instead of really talking about anything, I go on and on describing bicycles...hihi..Cool expensive bikes I've seen... their features... heh.. I talk about how brake pads loose efectiveness on steel rims during rainy season.. well... that's just how I am I guess..

Monday, November 24, 2008

boring weekend

People when they meet you after the weekend, they generally ask how it went, what did you do, yada yada... They always want to hear something exciting, maybe you went to a crazy party, saw a new movie, or whatever.. My weekend however, was rather dull. Except for the one little thing that happened Sunday morning-afternoon ish.

I was talking to my mom, which almost always gets me really irritated and in a short tempered mood. I was also simultaneously talking to sujata. Ah, I wish abhinav was online right now.. I could have told him this incident much more comfortably. And also gotten some kind of response... which is almost never the case with blog posts. Anyways, so I was frustrated and had lost all will to do anything. Just the previous night, I was working till way past 3 am. I thought I could get up and do the same today. But 'mom' happened.

She was going through my flickr library and asking me all kinds of questions.. about the places I was, people I was with, etc. Mom also asked me about the stupid locket I was supposed to keep wearing at all times.. I had to put it on in front of her... but then I realized the camera had stopped streaming video for some reason... LOL. Suju was telling me about her friend Ashwin. Then divya navigated to the photo of Sachin's birthday party. And mom asked me about Vodka..which by the way, Divya seemed more worried about than mom. God Div! stop mothering me! And as I told this to Suju, she asks me,
sujata bhagwat: are u closer to your mom or dad?
yash_unique: don't know
sujata bhagwat: or both or none?
yash_unique: none?
sujata bhagwat: as in not both
yash_unique: yep
sujata bhagwat: ok
yash_unique: why?
sujata bhagwat: who do u open up to?
yash_unique: don't make me say it...
sujata bhagwat: ?!
sujata bhagwat: ok chhod
yash_unique: phew! I didn't think I'd get off the hook so soon
sujata bhagwat: are we playing DA soon?
yash_unique: doesn't look like it
sujata bhagwat: great then i shud sleep
sujata bhagwat: i dont want a designer face 2moro morning
yash_unique: lol
sujata bhagwat: seriously man
yash_unique: are yaar ab papa bhi aa gaye pooch taach karne ke liye
sujata bhagwat: they are obviously concerned
yash_unique: lets drop that topic!
Then, as she didn't respond for a long time... I had to say something.. even though I didn't want to.. because this is one of the really depressing things I could talk about.. I went on.. "ok, wait, I open up to abhinav. and I used to talk to Pranav.. Parent's are asking about my friends...Why aren't you saying anything...?" Finally I figured she'd slept and I said, "nice talking to you. good night." and I got one last message.. "I might be wrong, but right now u need a tight hug and a tight slap, both to bring u to your senses!"

hmm... I decided to call her up. Finally got through on my third try. I started slowly.. trying to lead up to the conversation where we had left off.. I wish I was recording that conversation.. there were some really trong things said. And I was in tears, laughing out loud so Sujata wouldn't realize. The tears were just indicative of the sad realization that it was true I did need a hug and maybe a slap. I had changed, and I didn't like how things are one bit. Don't like them at all, but have to live with it.

But gradually conversation moved to something more pleasant and I actually started feeling better. And I casually asked how's pranav doing. And Sujata tries to read into it.. and asked if I really wanted to know. Great! I tried so hard to make it sound like I cared, and now she puts me in the spot. A long pause later, she proceeded... And our conversation proceeded. Which unfortunately was cut short because of a network glitch. I didn't call her back as it was already pretty late. But I hope she's not upset about it.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Friday classes

In today's (21st november) Painting class, we critiqued the 20 paintings project. This is like the 3rd critique we've done this semester. The students were asked to lay down their paintings on the floor and present them to the students. A set of questionnaire was written on the blackboard.
  • Which is your first one?
  • Point out your most recent one.
  • How long did each take you?
  • Which one did you find most difficult?
  • Which one were you most interested in?
This was going to make talking about the paintings a little easier. I thought it was a valid starting point.

We went through a bunch of people, among whom were some who had completed their paintings just the night before. That's when David Joron realized he should have told us to hand in 5 every week instead of leaving all for the last day. LOL. Even though Mark hadn't finished all 20, there were some I really liked. These lemon paintings for instance.. I asked mark if it was ok for me to use it here, and he said yes. So these photos are property of Mark Finnigan. (Just to save my ass)

Just before we were about to talk about my paintings, it was break time. Sigh.. anyway. Just then, David Joron comes up to me and says, "I'm honoured to be quoted on your blog." This took me by surprise, although it shouldn't have, because such stuff has happened in the past. But not regarding any teacher as far as I remember. So, he said he was googling his name because he wanted to see if people are talking about his show, and he stumbled across my blog. God! I had totally forgotten about his show! My previous teacher Sybil was also in that show. Oh well, I was too swamped with stuff to do this week.

Ahem.. so, when we talked about my paintings, I think I talked a great deal and was taking up much more time than anyone else. But I was happy to get all the feedback I was getting. Specially when its about work I think I didn't do well with. Like my chair painting. I said it was a disappointment, but the teacher said it was well done. I like to delve deeper into why I was so disappointed with it now, when I know there was a point when I liked that painting... I had done that painting a couple of weeks ago. And I remember how the chair looked in front of me. I was really struggling with trying to get the right colors for the reflection because again, the room wasn't very well lit. So I guess when I finished it, I felt a sense of achievement and felt happy with it. But later, when I had done some more advanced stuff and improved, I didn't think that painting was any good..weird?

Well, after painting, we went to photography where we watched a documentary called 'manufactured landscapes' It's a documentary about a canadian photographer who takes photos of mines and such man made landscapes. I didn't find it too interesting for the first 4-5 minutes. But then the idea gripped me. That's when I decided to do the photoraphy portfolio on pictures from India. Not terribly poor india, not terribly rich and glamorous side of india, regilar middle class stuff I've done, places I've been etc. I took out a bunch of photos from my hometown Akola, Seoni, Pune and Mumbai. I asked people to go through them and help me shortlist 15 photos max. I guess I got a decent response and I will be able to pick out photos much easier.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Baby sock

I don't think any of you are aware of this, probably because I've never talked about it before. But our classrooms, with the kinds of kids that inhabit them are the perfect kind of place for really weird, awkward and funny conversations. One of today's topics happened to be pregnency and babies. I don't know how they got there, but they were talking about The chick who had an operation and became a man, but still got pregnant and was on Oprah.. LOL.

Loren talked about women having a higher resistance to pain, in respect of giving birth. And some other kid made a joke, "I feel bad for the woman who has to bear my child, I have such a huge head!" I laughed at it out loud. I shouldn't have to worry, because I don't want to have kids, right? And thought about yesterday..

Wait, before I tell you what happened on the bus yesterday, I should tell you what happens in How I met your mother Season 4 episode 7 "Not A Father's Day". It's called that because Barney after a recent incident, starts a new holiday for guys who don't want to be dads. But the side story is that Marshall and Lilly want to have a baby but lilly starts having second thoughts. So she invites Ted and Robin over to help make up her mind. Ted is strongly pro baby and Robin hates kids. But after all their argument, Lilly sees a little sock of the neighbour's kid. And goes I WANT a baby. Ridiculous as it may sound, later in that episode, Ted busts Robin with the same sock. And all Robin says is, "Look at it... its so cute!" So a little baby sock can even make people who hate kids like the idea of having a baby.

I promise there's a point and a very good relation to the story. As I was going to the superstore, on the bus, there was a man with his baby in the pram. Since it's really cold outside these days, the baby was tucked in a little baby sleeping bag type thing. And he was looking at me for a while as I walked into the bus. A while later, he got restless and started kicking his legs inside his bag. He pulled out his sock and the dad took it from the baby and put it in his jacket pocket. ahem... how many of you figured out where this story is going?

So, yeah, I for a brief moment thought about me being in that position. As if I'm actually going to have a kid, and I'll be in canada at that age, on a bus, in Oakville... hmmph. How pointless... Isn't it?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Blog update- Wooooo!

I woke up this morning and I felt something. I wasn't hurting anymore. My throat was feeling fine. The cold's as good as gone. I could enjoy my day off! But I was determined to have things done. Certain things that I've been putting off for far too long. I felt I couldn't do those things on my own, I needed someone to help me, make me do it. I had been trying to get Abhinav to help me. I mentioned "I need your help" about 4 different times to him, but he didn't respond "with what?" or "Just name it bro."

If I may go off on a tangent here, it reminds me of the story our painting teacher David Joron told us last Friday's painting class.
Last night, I went back to my studio to touch up a painting for my upcoming show that was almost done. The painting was basically finished. All I had to do was a quick coat of transparency. I called my wife, said I'll be home in an hour. Fourteen hours later, as I finished painting on it, it was already next morning. I didn't even realize it had been that long. And I didn't even get to sleep as I had to be places, do things.. so I didn't get my sleep and was a zombie for two whole days. Why am I telling you this story? To tell you that nobody feels sorry for you. No one!
Yeah, Back to my story now. Well, last night, after thinking a lot, I popped the same question to Sujata. And in the brief moment when her internet got disconnected, I came to my senses. I realized, she can't do anything to help me, I'm going to have to pick up the pieces myself. I should pull my shit together. But when she asked, I didn't want to disappoint her, so I sent her those messages she had missed. I thought to myself, lets give it a chance and see if she really can do something.

Today, I went and bought groceries. I finally have fresh food in the house. I made myself fried rice for dinner. And ate a lot more than I thought I could have.. I guess I was just super hungry! Maybe next time I'll cook even more. I am SO gonna need a bigger skillet for that LOL. The point is to make a meal I can store and eat again later. I am supposed to be having like 4 meals a day. And today I had just 2. Then again, I am just so lazy that I won't even walk out and get myself another helping of food if its not within arm's reach. Yeah, first thing I had this morning was Doritos (jalapeno and cheddar if you must know) because it was sitting on my table.

Hah! Anyways, I have other news to announce. I bought my own domain names for a year. yashrg.co.in and yashrg.com The first one redirects to my blog and the second one to my mobileme web presence for now. I might end up using the latter for my website that we are making in webdesign class. Let me know your views or opinions on the URLs.

Well, Time for me to sign off now. I'm so glad I got this off my chest.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Sports Injuries

This Friday, (Umm.. that would be 7th of november. This post has been sitting in he drafts for quite some time!) I was waiting in the learning commons for Sachin and Andrew to go play squash with. But both of them were busy with their class presentation project. And I ran into Donnie, the Indonesian. I would insert a photo here, but its just so hard to get a good photo of him. Anyways, He said he's interested in playing squash. I didn't mind, it would be fun to see how well he could play. And for once it would be nice to play against a weaker opponent.

We went to the squash court and started playing. Donnie was used to playing lawn tennis, so he'd wait for the ball to bounce off the ground first, and would anticipate it to bounce higher. As expected, he'd miss the ball almost all the time. There are some reflexes that one develops after having played a game for long. And expecting the ball to bounce a particular way, sqing or spin a particular way is one of them. That's why, I was kinda glad I hadn't played tennis a lot. I wonder if Suraj would be able to get a hang of squash very easily either.

I think the first injury was on the very first day, Donnie tripped and fell on his knee as he was running to hit the ball. The next day, There was a big red bruise on his knee... Oooh!

Still, Donnie and I kept meeting up for squash more often. Then I think this was thursday the 13th that we were playing squash, and I happened to hit Donnie really haard with the ball. I believe I was the one who served first, and Donnie returned and stopped paying attention to where the ball or I was. And he ended up standing right in front of me. I didn't realize that either, untill I had hit the ball really hard and it smacked against Donnie's Lower back. Damn!

He wasn't angry. It was all part of the game. And there have been so many other incidents like this over time. Once he was running towards the ball, and I didn't have enough time to get out of the way, and he ended up bumping into me so hard that I fell on the ground. This other time, I was running to hit the ball that was very close to the wall, and after returning the ball, hit the wall really hard. I wasn't in a position where I could absorb the impact with my hands, so my right shoulder took most of the force.

Just the other day, I was browsing flickr and stumbled across a squash injury photo. And found out there's a whole group of photos of squash injuries. There's also a broken racquet in there. I hit my racket really hard against the wall and the floor multiple times too. This is something I've learned over time, "You can't be afraid of the wall" Because in squash, many times, the ball is really close to the wall, and if you're scared to take a swing at it, you'll always loose.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Niagra Falls Visit

Sachin had signed me up for it last Friday itself. I hadn't even heard about it and might not have found out if it wasn't for him.

Last night I bought chips and bananas from rabbas to take with me on the bus. But this morning in the rush I forgot to put it in my bag. I didn't however, forget my tripod, extra battery and my new lens. You know what that means! I'm planning to take tons of photos. The weather is overcast, a little windy but not too cold. I walked to the SCAET building in my 'bluenotes' hoodie. I was the first one there.

I met Manish inside scaet building and we started talking about cameras and photography. I remember he had told me he has a D40 too. The bus arrived on time. As i was about to stand up and walk out, the camera strap got caught on the chair and my camera fell! It's like everything went into slow motion. I slowly bent down towards my camera, picked up and checked if the lens was ok. I should get a filter for it. And a hood. Sachin,Rajat and Bhupi were late. I had to do something to stall the bus! So I decided to take some pictures of the bus, instead of just asking Andrew to wait.

Here, I learned another lesson about the 50mm lens on my camera. That trying to take pictures of big objects will involve me having to walk really far away from the subject. I thought I was far enough from the bus but when I looked through the viewfinder, I could still only see half of it. Crap! Just then, the three musketeers showed up and we were ready to go.

I sat alone on the seat, Sachin and Franzi to the left and Rajat in the seat before them. To his right were bhupi and Manish on the seat in front of me. I realized If I wanted to take any photos of people in the bus, I'd have to go wide. So I put on the kit lens on again. I was going to do the lens switch about 3 or 4 times more throughout the day.

As we arrived at our destination, I could sense that it was getting cooler. And actually so, it was much cooler outside here as compared to oakville. Good thing I brought my sweater and cap. As we started walking towards the falls, I got my equipment ready to shoot. Tripod and everything. Shot my first pano from a bridge that was straight ahead on the falls. We could also see the American falls from there. But a better pano was from the higher vantage point.

There, I met a businessman from Germany. I clicked his picture for him and we got talking. He said he came on a business trip to Toronto and you can't come to Toronto and not go to niagra falls. I told him I'm a student here, originally from India. He asked me around Mumbai, I told him yes, a few hours away. He started talking about ACC cement in Mumbai. His company deals with them he said.

And here this blog post comes to an abrupt end because my iPod ran out of battery before I could save the next couple paragraphs I had written. And now I'm getting impatient to get it out there. Besides, there's no motivation to finish it. I mean who cares anyways!

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Sunday, November 09, 2008

My Miserable Existance

Let's face it: It's not sudden, this has been a long time coming. I would periodically have these periods of down and lot of times I would even think of blogging it but I wasn't close to a computer. But tonight I can't wait anymore. Leaving two unpublished blog posts behind, I'm just going ahead with this one.

I've been sitting in my messy room for last 3 hours or so. It's 10 pm. Not going to go have dinner. Don't even feel like going to get some water for my parched throat and dry lips. Talked to parents and aunt and uncle over skype for a few minutes. Thank god for skype 'connection lost' errors.

I am lying on my bed, iPod in my hand, laptop barely within arm's reach and I feel.... I feel like I'm drunk without even consuming any alcohol. Somehow I feel it's a really comfortable feeling. I wish I had some booze so that I could heighten this relaxed feeling. Of not knowing what's going on, being completely numb.

Because I know as long as I'm conscious, I will only keep thinking about it over and over again. This one word I don't want to use on this blog.

So I'm just lying here, listening to my playlist..
A moment ago it seemed, it was yesterday you were here with me and everything seems to be OK ..
This wasn't what I wanted to be, a man in misery..
Mita do unhe.. Bhula do unhe..
And she will be loved..
Is it bright where you are, have the people changed..
Goodbye means nothing at all, makes me come back and catch her every time she falls..
For now we stand alone
The world is lost and blown
And I am master of a nothing place
Hate me today Hate me tomorrow..

Well.. It just keeps going.

Geolocate this post

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Thursday, November 06, 2008

New feature at blogger.com

I was told that embedded comments feature has now been made available to everyone. The embedded comment form is more convenient for your readers because they can use it to post a comment immediately, without clicking over to a different page. It also looks better, since it matches your blog’s style and colors. But, I am having a little problem implementing it. So I changed my template, and removed a lot of customization.

I apologize if it still isn't working, I guess I'll have to remove EVERYTHING to bring things back to normal again.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Halloween at Sheridan

I brought in the painting I did the previous night but since a lot of other students hadn't finished their paintings, The teacher decided we were going to do the critique next week! Damn! In class we just watched a few videos on youtube. Of people painting objects and portraits, etc.. mainly with oils. I wish I could remember the names of the artists now.. We also saw a lot of work on artists' websites it was very inspirational for the 20 paintings project. And finally, we talked about our 'setups'.

I'm sorry, let me elaborate on that part. Students are divided into three groups and we get to decide what we want to paint for the next three weeks. Each group will discuss and finalize an arrangement to be made in the painting studio. Everything from how the stage is arranged, the props, the overall look of the background and even the models and their costumes is as per our will. That, in a word is the 'setup' that we're going to paint. Our group is doing a kitchen scene with two chefs. Mainly because I suggested it. It will be a nice diversion from what an other group wants to do.. A very colorful Gypsy theme.

There were a lot of people who came to college all dressed up for halloween. I took lots of pictures of people. I think my favourite was the dude who came dressed as facebook. haha yeah, you have to see it to believe it. A guy was dressed up as iPod. And I met two 'jokers' in college. Joker from the batman series!

Photography class was really interesting too. I haven't gotten around to uploading all the product shots we took in the studio, but this is one of them. Taking product shots in studio by you.Photo by yashrg

Just getting to see the kind of lights they use and learning how its all set up when apple is trying to make their macs look oh so sexy or BMW is making those irresistible car wallpapers. Although we were not working at the same scale as BMW. And just for fun, we clicked photos of the people dressed up in a halloween costume. We didn't really delve into portrait photography, I'm sure there's more to it. And now I hope we do get to learn something about portrait photography next week. Here's one of Sean's photos, after a little post processing in Lightroom.

Sean the Zombie by you.Photo by yashrg

I invited Sean to the party. So instead of going back to Hamilton after class, he waited with me in learning commons. Sachin dropped by and we went to play squash. He also signed me up for the trip to Niagra Falls. I played three sets with Sachin and three sets with Andrew. It was fun. Playing with Andrew, I really learned a lot of new things. Can't wait to go again!

Before Hallowen there was..

30st October 2008: Today, I managed to finish one of my paintings for the painting class. It was the relationship painting based around the portrait painting I did as my last project. I did mention that briefly in my blog post here. That was a painting of Pranav standing in a towel, with socks and shoes on. Having a hard time imagining that? Go here. We were at Suju's farmhouse in alibag and all his clothes got wet at the beach. And they didn't dry till the time we were supposed to leave for pune again. So he had to ride in the car without a shirt or pants. We stopped at the nearest store and bought him a pair right there. It was hilarious.

Now, for the second part of the project, I had to take that person I had painted, and do a mind map of words that signify it. And using those words, I had to create a painting that would have some meaning to it.. How or what I feel when I think of him, should influence what the painting's like. Sounds like a really cool project huh? I think so too. I had originally thought this painting could be completely abstract. There's no objectiveness to what a color or shape means to someone. And even when talking about it to maggie, I said, this painting is going to be a bunch of angry black and red paint splatters or maybe depressing colors.

Mind map for painting
Originally uploaded by yashrg
But here, take a look at my word map. I did this in a couple of minutes, and looking at it, Ideas started flowing. I got so pumped up for this painting, I squeezed the paints out, turned on my laptop to look at reference images and got to work. I decided against doing something abstract and thought of meaningful imagery. After the big Landmark Logo and rubik's cube was done, I paused and realized I don't have anything else to put there. I can't remember how long my first stretch was, but I took several breaks in between and was working till the night. Slowly building up and putting in a photo frame with the remains of a torn picture, a phone with his number on it, a dart board.. But really, the juice had run out.

I was hoping to go to the Halloween pub night at the college. Sachin had expressed interest at first. So I called Rajat up to know what the latest plan was. And as I had imagined, it was off. Oh well, there's always the party Nicole's throwing at the apartment. And I also had to finish the outdoor painting by looking at the reference image from that day. But I was too tired at the end of the first painting to work on that. I would just have to hand in my incomplete outdoor painting.