Thursday, June 26, 2008

Had to get it out of my system

Pranav was taking way too long in the bathroom I thought. I was
waiting for him near the gate of coach S1. It was of paramount
importance that I get this talk done with pranav. Maybe he wasn't in
the loo: I walked back to suju. She was smiling at me.. I know she
wanted me to kiss her goodnight. But I was too stressed thinking about
the task ahead to even smile back. "I had to find pranav", I said and
walked away.

This time I didn't wait around anywhere for him. I just kept walking
all the way till the last coach but no luck. I then texted him, 'been
trying to find you.I need to talk.didn't want to call as you might be
on roaming.' he called me up. I took two deep breaths and picked up
the phone. "Hello?", I said..
.."I can't hear you.." I hung up. I was walking back to my seat now.

I had been thinking of saying this to pranav since 3 days ago.
"pranav, you need to stop doing this.." I'd practice in my
thoughts..then forget about it or just chicken out. I thought pranav
knew me well enough to realize when he was amusing me, when he was
irritating me and when he's hurting me. But lately, he seemed to be
loosing it and so I decided that I need to give him a piece of my
mind. So today, when we left suju's place, I started rehearsing it
even more meticulously. "you need to stop picking on me.."

So now that he had called me up, I thought it was cool if I call him
back. I called pranav up and asked him where he was. He said he had
gone back to the seat and was with Sujata. I reached there too. Pranav
and I moved to the empty seat behind sujata.
"talk." he said.
"can you not pick on me? Atleast for the next ten days?"
he wasn't expecting this. He turned serious
"what do you mean?"
"its ok when you joke around, except sometimes, it hurts."
Then, the guy who's seat it was, came back, and pranav said, "we can
take a walk."
we stood talking in front of a door, and the conversation goes on
really long which I can't possibly reiterate to you guys. But at the
end of it, i was feeling much lighter.

When we got back, to our birth, suju was awake, and I smiled and gave
her a kiss. She's off to dreamland and time for me to type this blog

Actually, Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time -
I think I've forgotten this before.

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