Saturday, August 25, 2007

Rose coloured glasses

I know lying is wrong but its a kind of 'bad' thing that's accepted by the society...okay, maybe not 'accepted' , but its really common. For example, like, umm... "I'm doing great, thank you." or maybe "we are working really hard to eradicate and we have been very successful". Blah! So I guess I shouldn't kill myself over a few lies that I - like the above people - have said, to paint a beautiful picture of my life here, to some people I don't really want to worry too much. But Its another one of those things that is eating me inside and so I guess I should come clean about it.

I have a hard time convincing myself to go out and eat at fancy restaurants, I don't happily keep going to movies every week without having to be persuaded into it by someone. I still don't feel happy about spending money on a cab, and I don't even use the vending machines in college unless I'm starving and there's no way out. I have accepted the fact that I am cheap and for that, my classmates can tease me all they want. I am not going to budge, because that's what a student's supposed to do, save money. But I still let my parents believe I'm happily living the good life, eating, drinking, partying, and that I don't worry at all, about finances, so that they're happy for me.

I don't have to not do anything and I don't get to just sit around all day. I do get breaks now and then, but otherwise, college is brutal. I still have to cook my own food, do the dishes, laundry and even clean the bathroom once every 3 weeks, and my room from now and then. I don't even get rest on weekends, as I go to portfolio workshop in toronto, and that basically takes up the whole day! Then I have to find time to go shopping or else I'll have no food! But no matter how much tougher I have it here, I keep telling my parents 'I am nicely rested and relaxed and I am really happy', so that they don't panic.

And don't even get me started on friends and company. I am lonely. Period. I just don't want to be called back to India to 'help in the family business' like Aniruddh bhaiya. Because tauji and taiji didn't like the condition aniruddh bhaiya was living in, they made him go back to India. They came, They saw, They freaked out. LOL, maybe they didn't freak out, but..... Ahem, anyways, in a nutshell, I keep sending them rose coloured glasses as gifts.

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