I chickened out yet again. I was feeling so ready to say to Pranav what I 'had to' when I returned his gift. This was the last time I was seeing him in person and even though I would have wanted to make this as pleasant as possible, I had other priorities. Doing the right thing. Which was, returning his lavish expensive gift. I ended up saying I was returning it because I had too much luggage and was going over my weight limit and couldn't possibly carry it to canada.
Here's the speech I had rehearsed:
"Pranav, you're my best friend, but I'm not yours. You don't call or write. So don't buy me expensive gifts that don't mean a thing and think every-thing's going to be ok. What would mean something, is if you start treating me like a friend. Call me sometime, ask me how I am doing. Answer the phone when I call, calm me down when I'm worrying. Even half the time I try to call you, you're not available. You weren't there when I needed you."
Why did you have to make it be like this? Last time I left, we were happily talking and communicating. This time, You wouldn't pick up your phone or call back not even replying to my text message. Do you have any idea how hard that is? You always seem to put yourself first. Doing what you feel is ok for you even if I can't bear it one bit.
There really is no end to this, I can go on and on about this forever. But doesn't mean amount to anything if Pranav isn't told this.